Well, Well, Well

I'm well, considering how I'm sixty-fucking-three years old now.  😁 And now for some updates, for those who still read:

My main squeeze has problems with her cervical spine.  Bulging discs, and vertebrae slippage (Spondylolisthesis).  She's waiting to get in for an MRI and then to the orthopedic surgeon.  The pain is manageable, but no fun.

My best friend has stage 4 lung cancer, and had part of his lung removed.  11 of the19 sampled lymph nodes are cancerous.  Not a good prognosis from what I read.  His doctors say it's a crap shoot, depending on how he responds to chemo/radiation.  The interwebs says most don't live for more than a year.  Great.  My last best friend died of cancer in 1986.  I had another very close friend die from a stroke in 2023.

But wait, there's more.  My sister went into the ER after an abnormal EKG at an urgent care clinic.  Indications were initially that it was a heart attack, but the doctor says it seems okay...but to follow up with a cardiologist.

I'm gearing up for the holidays and the totally avoidable stress caused by it.  My squeeze says she doesn't stress out over holiday hosting and cooking, but fuck does she!  She invited two of our nephews over from out of state before Christmas, and our mixed-family holidays will be different.  Thanksgiving at my ex-wife's house with two of the kids, one daughter-in-law, and one grandbrat.  Day after Christmas at our house with my ex-wife, a niece, two kids, D.I.L. and the grand brat.  Time to start pounding muscle relaxers!

Squeeze's birthday is January 2nd.  I have no idea what we're doing.  I thought about taking her to a nice Hill Country B&B, but the more I think about it, the more I think I'd rather do a staycation at the River Walk.  We'll see.

Had a lung cancer screening (CT scan) yesterday.  Doctor appointment today to talk about my aging boner, and general health.

Birthday

It's hard to believe I'm as old as I am sometimes.  When I was a little kid, I used to wonder what I'd look like when I got older, e.g., "I wonder what I'll look like when I'm 18," etc.  

Just like that, I'm 63-years-old.

I now wonder when I'm going to actually look old...to me. I also wonder if and when I'll start a fast decline. I'm already a tad achy and creaky, but I still feel very physically capable.  I mean, I don't do the crazy shit I used to do in my youth, and I'm sure I don't run as fast as I used to, but I do feel comfortably able to do pretty much anything I need and want to do.

Feeling mortality as one ages is something everyone feels. I feel it some days more than others, and I'm not sure the addition of one more year to my life has made me feel any more mortal than I've felt before.  What it has made me feel is appreciation - Appreciation for close friends, family, and life in general.