Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Deadeye Dick

Up until my friend ~Y~ asked me to write a little on this topic, I hadn’t thought much about that pesky hunting accident involving our Vice President. But ~Y~ got me thinking, and I think we all know that can be a little dangerous.

So anyway, Dick shot his wad on a guy. Wait. That didn't come out right. Shit. That didn't sound right either. Really people; shotgun shells have wads in them. I wasn't being nasty. It's early, and my articulo-meter isn't working right. Want proof? Click here and scroll down to "Construction of a typical shotshell."

Okay...Let's try that again.

So anyway....Cheney blasted a guy, millionaire Harry Whittington, with a poorly executed shot at a covey of quail which had flushed from its cover. Deadeye Dick, an avid hunter and member of the NRA, hit Whittington with a blast from a 28-gauge shotgun at 30 yards. Whittington was apparently walking back from picking up a quail he had just shot a few seconds before.

Yeah, yeah. Accidents happen, I know. But riddle me this:

---Do avid (read experienced) hunters shoot first and then look where they’re shooting? If you’ve ever been quail hunting, you’ll know that a covey of quail flushing from a hidden location can scare the ever livin’ shit out of you, but come on. How can you not see a hunter in an international orange hunting getup at 30 yards in the flatland scrub of South Texas? When you hunt, you're supposed to be aware of your surroundings at all times. This includes where your fellow hunters are and things in the distance that might be affected by your shooting.
---And could you ever imagine that this avid hunter and member of the National Rifle Association would break hunting laws of the state of Texas? That’s right. Deadeye Dick was hunting without the required bird endorsement on his hunting license. ABC News is reporting that the VP is going to pay his $7.00 after the fact? Huh? Why isn’t he being made to pay what I might have to pay? Where’s the equity in enforcement of the law? Here are penalties for violating state fish and wildlife laws:
· be fined (Class C - $25-$500; Class B - $200-$2000; Class A - $500-$4000; State Jail Felony, $1500-$10,000);
· be jailed (Class B and higher offenses);
· face automatic suspension or revocation of licenses for up to 5 years;
· forfeit hunting gear, including firearms, used to commit a violation.

---I wonder too if Dick received state-required hunter safety education certification. If he didn’t, and he most likely didn’t, he’s liable to pay a fine in the neighborhood of $500.

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Memory Du Jour:
I was seven years old when I first went fishing. My mom and a friend took me to the pier in Manhattan Beach, CA where I caught my first fish, a perch, on a bright red salmon egg. Over the years I lost that first fishing pole of mine, but I still have the fishing pole my mom used on that day, and it’s in amazingly good condition for being 36 years old.

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Quote of the Day:
"I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go — you know — I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say." —George W. Bush, after being asked whether he's seen Brokeback Mountain, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006

14 comments:

R. said...

I'm not a hunter so maybe I'm wrong here but lets pretend that you and I went hunting and I did what "Deadeye Dick" did to you.

Do you think they would be saying that I "peppered" you or your were "peppered" or I shot you or you were shot? And I am most certain I would not be able to pay my seven bucks after the fact.

Did your quote of the day make a bit of sense? He is such a fag...

I think that is so cool that you have your Moms 36 year old fishing pole from your first fishing expidition. I have my very first fishing pole from my first and last fishing experience, its only 3 years old. :)

Happy Valentines Day sweetie!!!

Webmiztris said...

it's total bullshit that just because he's the vice president he doesn't have to follow the rules....I REALLY hate this country sometimes. A LOT of times actually.

StringMan said...

Speaking of shooting his wad, what if Cheney was the one who got hit, and he lost an eye? We'd then be referring to him as our One-eyed Dick. Actually, our One-eyed, bald-headed Dick. Hmm.

Karlos said...

Nay: Yep. You’re right. They don’t put people in jail for “peppering.” The average Joe (you in this case) would be relaxing on the County dime with three squares a day if you couldn’t post bail. Oh, and just for the record, I’d risk a good ol’ fashioned peppering to go hunting or fishing with ya.

I actually did get peppered once back in AZ. We were riding horses near Skunk Creek. For some strange reason an old farmer took issue with us and our horsies tearing up his onion field, so he took a couple of pot shots at us with 12 gauge rock salt rounds. Luckily the salt didn’t break the skin – Ours or the horses’. I sure wish I had pictures of some of the old farm houses and stuff from back then…

The quote of the day was among Shrub’s more incoherent quotes. Only a true imbecile could fuck up the answer to a yes or no question.

Happy Valentines day to you too angelface. Tried calling you earlier when I was stuck in traffic, but no answer.

WebMiz: I couldn’t agree more. The fuckers! My cousin got so tired of the bullshit he moved out of the country and has been chillin’ in Brazil for the last few years. He married a Brazilian chick and loves everything about his life. I send him Newsweeks and newspaper articles every so often to entertain him!

Stringman: I was eating a snack when I read your response to my post and, had I been a little more careless, I would’ve choked on my food! That was too fucking funny!

james is lost said...

Apparently the deputy was unable to interview the VP after the shooting took place. HMMMmmm I wonder if alcohol was involved? In my view that would be the only reason that the secret service would upstage the local law enforcement.
I call shanagens!

its true i dont know how to spell it but i call it anyway.

i wonder if there is anyone i may want to do away with that wants to go out hunting with me?

rlb3773 said...

Now, the poor guy has had a heart attack. Cheney caused all of this. Charges should be brought against him! Of course, that will never happen.

rlb3773 said...

I also was almost peppered this past pheasant hunting season. I took a friend out hunting and went into a barn to pee. Next thing I heard was tack tack tack on top of the barn. I ran for cover and called him many names in a very loud voice.

Ivy the Goober said...

OMG what can I say after Stringman's comment! HA!
Happy Valentine's Day, Carlos! Thanks for letting me steal you MDuJ

Whistler71 said...

Happy Valentine's Day!
I was listening to talk radio today and they did mention alcohol. Now my question is, if Dick was drinking, what about all of his damn pills and such for his unfortunate bouts of heart attacks? I think the man was sloshed...

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

THANK YOU CJ!
It was even better than expected. You actually researched the hunting laws lol, I knew we could count on you.
I'm going to forward this to the Daily show.
Great job & thanks again for a blog well done.

Stringman
LOL, that works for me.

PS
I agree with everybody, something's very wrong with this picture.

R. said...

Mr. Cj I left my phone at my folks so I didn't have it to answer but I wouldn't have anyway even if I had it. If a name doesn't show up on my caller id I don't answer it. But I will add you to my phone list so next time you call I will know it is you so I can answer. :)

Early said...

I feel that with as large of a "Dick" where dealing with, that he was sloshed. His age and being in Texas. Anyone over the age of 55ish drink while huntin'-in Texas. I have seen it with my own eyes. Cheney is a piece of S**T

Karlos said...

James: I didn’t think about that, but that’s an excellent point. I’ll betcha you’re right. I bet they were drinking and didn’t report the incident to give the alcohol enough time to get out of Dickies’ blood stream.

RLB: Yep. It’ll never happen. It’s sure happen if it was your or me that peppered someone. Your kind of peppering is pretty common. Shot goes up in air, shot comes down. Back in the day my friend Mike and I used to lob bird shot at one another for fun, kind of like mortar rounds. I’d see him in the distance, do a little geometry under the influence, point the shotgun in the air (almost straight up) and fire. A few seconds later, you’d hear, “Fucker! That fuckin’ hurt you dick!” or something thereabout. :-) That was a pretty dumb little game we played, but it really didn’t hurt too bad. The media likes to say Mr. Whittington got peppered, but the motherfucker got downright shot. At 30 yards, the position of the rifle barrel couldn’t have been aimed much higher than horizontal.

Ivy: Happy Valentine’s day to you too! And you’re welcome for the MDuJ.

Whistler: Same to you but more of it. I hadn’t heard anything about drinking yet. As a matter of fact, nothing on the news this morning. I’d love to hear it. I was listening to conservative talk radio yesterday and Sean Hannety (cuz I do like to listen to both sides), and all he did was whine about reporters questioning the Press Secretary, Scott McClellan, about the incident. If I thought I could’ve got a phone line in, I’d have called. McClellan is a wiener. He was asked if the ordinary citizen would have been afforded the same amount of time to answer questions about the incident. His response was not to answer the fucking question (go figure), but to tell the reporter to ask local law enforcement because it was they who made the decision. Duh, but the guy was asking McClellan the question.

Nay: Okay. I was beginning to get a complex. ;-)

Early: I imagine there aren’t too many people down here who don’t have a couple of drinks/beers with their shotgun. Especially with as beautiful as a day it was last Saturday. It was a beer drinking day for sure.

Whistler71 said...

I listen to Hannety as well. Well just to let all know what a dork I am, I listen to talk radio most of the time.. Ouch! I listen to Paul Harvey Every morning at 7:30, I have loved him for years!! I don't like the Cheney dick, lol...Take care