Thursday, October 13, 2005


My dinner tonight consisted of a nice salad. Nothing fancy, just a plain ol’ salad with some cucumber, a few croutons, and some diced tomato. Oh, and I also sprinkled on some Betty Crocker Bacos (which, of course, contain absolutely no bacon) and some McCormick “Salad Toppins.”

Whilst nibbling on my greens, between enlightening conversation and lots of laughs with my two teeny-boppers, I glanced at the list of ingredients in the Bacos:

Ingredients: Defatted soy flour, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, water, salt, sugar, artificial and natural flavor, red 40 and other color added, soy sauce (water, wheat, soybeans, salt), hydrolyzed vegetable protein (corn, soy, wheat).

And said to myself, “now that’s one shitdoggity, helpin’ of dee-liciousness!”

Then I noticed the bold-faced print directly below the list of yummy ingredients:
Contains soy and wheat ingredients

I wondered if it was a proud declaration or some kind of warning. I ruled out proud because soy and wheat are just too common. If the ingredients being touted were platinum flakes or saffron, I might buy proud.

I decided it was a warning, but wasn’t initially sure why Mrs. Crocker would be so concerned about wheat and soy.

Was this a warning to people who might be allergic to soy and wheat? If so, why would Betty only be concerned with wheat and soy allergy sufferers? Why would she disregard the droves of people who might be deathly allergic to salt, sugar, red 40, other color, corn or artificial and natural flavor?

What I find particularly disturbing, even more so than the omission of allergy warnings for the other ingredients, is that the FDA allows a company to list “other color” and “artificial and natural flavor” as ingredients in a product that is ingested by a human being.

Think about that for a moment. Let’s say I concocted and marketed a new brand of peanut butter. I could conceivably drop a cat turd in every vat of PB and list it on the ingredients as “natural flavor,” “other color,” or both.

I wonder if “natural flavor” and “other color” are on the big government list of authorized ingredients to account for a predetermined acceptable amount of rat shit, fingernails, boogers, earwax, and other nasty morsels that might reasonably be expected to find their way into our foodstuffs. I suppose these two ingredients could also be some kind of “out” for a company in the event that someone like me finds a scab in his salad and has an idea to sue.

And what of the other manufacturers that don’t list any “special” bold-faced ingredients. Does that mean they don’t care for allergy sufferers at all?


Dubya Quote of the Day:
"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike. ... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society. ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked." —Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999


rlb3773 said...

My mom has Celiac Disease, so we are major label readers. She can have soy, but no wheat products. Also, no dairy! We have became very goods cooks. Well, when it comes to gluten and dairy free cooking. Mom can make an amazing chicken fried steak and I have perfected gluten free enchilada sauce. You have to adapt!

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Being up at 5:15 AM, I would think you the type of person to enjoy a good cup of Java, and
after reading your latest post about ingredients, I thought I might tip you off to
Kopi Luak, or "cat shit" coffee. The Luak is a small cat-like creature that eats ripe coffee cherries right off the tree, digests the flesh but poops the beans out whole. Somehow the fermentation undergone in the cats stomach makes coffee beans sell for $100 per pound.
Tard 5

R. said...

MMMM, Tard 5 that coffee sounds about as good as Cj's baco-bits :)
However the baco-bits are far less expensive. I'll just stick to drinking my Starbucks which cost more than my crack habbit so maybe I should switch over to the baco-bits and get off the crack and Starbucks.

Tard 3

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Does Star bucks really cost less than crack? That is shit. Not like the coffee of course. Tard 2 loves bacon bits, now every time she has a salad it's going to remind her of a scab. What if she can never eat a salad again? What if her ass gets fat? Maybe Carlos could be just a little less descriptive next time.

madman said...

Damn--I will never eat peanut butter at your house! FUNNY POST and I hope you enjoyed the salad!

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Where are you Cj? Blog damn it blog.

R. said...

I'm with ~Y~ Cj, "blog damn it blog"

Your funny ~Y~!!!

Love from R.

p.s., if I were a tweaker I would be paranoid by todays word verification, the frist the letters are my initials, this could be some sort of conspiracy :)

Sick of Gluten said...

Bac-Os has changed their ingredients. GONE is the Hydrolized Vegetable Protein! The warning now says only "Contains: SOY". I believe Bac-Os are now gluten-free!

Jimmy said...

I don't understand why so much time was used on this post. This really isn't that big of a thing anymore. There are particular things that are common (if not required) on labels now due to allergies, etc. (wheat and soy are two major ingredients - peanuts, dairy and nuts are other big ones.

Carlos said...

How much time it takes is relative. I type about 102wpm, so it didn't take much time at all.

The post was intended to be humorous.