Contemplative Friday

For those of you who don’t know – and probably none of you do, because I didn’t fucking post anything about it – Shelley’s mom came to visit over the holidays. She was here from the middle of December to the middle of January. It was a nice visit. She’s 82 years old.

Anyway…she has a friend named Laurie at the retirement home where she lives. I met briefly her in 2010 when we went to Washington. She was a nice old broad. When Shelley’s mom was here, the two women texted one another regularly. They were friends because nearly all the other men and women at the retirement home were prude, uptight, fuddy-duddies. These two women weren’t. They were a bit crass, young-at-heart, and loved laughing.

A couple of days ago Laurie got up for breakfast as she did every day. She got dressed, put on make-up, and laid down on the couch for a rest before going down. Laurie didn’t show up for breakfast. They found her lying peacefully on the couch and rushed her to the hospital where she died the following morning around 2:00am.

I didn’t know Laurie save for that one short meeting, but I was kinda moved by her passing. I think it was a combination of the way she died, the fact that Shelley’s mom lost her best friend, and my own sobering realization (again!) of my continued aging and mortality.

It also made me think muchly about how I want to go when it’s my time. I certainly hope I have some say in it. I don’t much like the idea of a sudden death, because I might’ve forgotten to do or say something. I know I won’t care after I’m dead, but I wonder if there’ll be a split second of realization that this is the time. You know…”Oh shit. I’m dying.” Life and loved ones flash before my eyes. I see a bright light. Then an infinitesimal moment of ultra-anxious realization that I forgot to tell someone goodbye, tell someone I love them, say I’m sorry, eat something I always meant to cook but kept blowing off, hug someone, pet the cats, get my affairs in order, or delete the porn from my computer.

Damn it. No one told me I was gonna get old and die. Wait. Yes. My mom did. Shit. Well. We’ll have a good laugh about that when next I see her.

I'm Still Here

For those who still drop by from time to time -

Thanksgiving was good. We went to Shelley's daughter's fiance's parents' house for a big dinner. It was nice, but I do miss the leftovers and making turkey soup, one of my favorite things to do the next day.

Shelley's dear mom came to town for Christmas. We spent it with Shelley's daughter & fiance. It was nice.

And I continue to work and coast by. There's nothing too exciting going on in life, but I suppose uneventful is good. I've been slacking in my photography, despite sinking a load of money into equipment over the last couple of years. I need to work on that.

Anyway....there ya have it. I'm up way too early this morning because I went to bed way too early last night. Ughhh....Coffee time.