MAMA'S BOY
November 15th, 2004: One year ago today that Mom died.
I had aspirations of writing a tribute to her here on my little piece of the internet, but I just don't think I can do it at this point in my life. One day soon though...One day soon.
I do miss Alice like crazy. It’s still seems unreal to me that she is gone, and I still catch myself wanting to call her to share something with her or to ask her advice. I often think of her beautiful house in California, and how she loved mornings on the little garden patio or in her sunny kitchen drinking coffee and reading the paper. I loved those quiet mornings with her when I visited.
In October of 2004, almost exactly a month before she left, I told her (teary-eyed over two big glasses of Meyers’s Rum, which she loved!) that I didn’t want her to go. She replied, “I know Carlos. But don’t be sad. We’ll always be together. No matter where you are, we'll always be together."
And she is with me. Even at 5:30am, as I sit here in my quiet living room with tears in my eyes, she’s here with me.
I miss you Mom. I love you, think of you every day, and selfishly wish you were still here.
5 comments:
It's really hard to lose someone you love. I don't really know what to say except that so many of us understand and can totally relate to what you're saying. Isn't it nice she had the chance to say those words to you?
I've been thinking about you and your Mom and knew the one year date was somewhere around. I was going to email and see how you are doing, but couldn't find the words and still don't know what to say other than you, and family, and your Mom are in my heart, head, and thoughts.
Love to you!!!
Cj
Your Mom made a beautiful person, you. I can only imagine how awesome she must have been... So sorry for your loss.
~Y
Carlos,
Now you made me cry...and miss my mommy too.
Ivy: It sure is hard, but the people who’ve experienced this kind of loss before me have made it a little (a lot at times) easier to handle. Most important to me last fall was the knowledge that I wasn’t alone, and that others had lived through the same experience without dying of a broken heart. You said just enough :-)
Nay: You don’t have to say anything love. Our phone calls last year were so comforting and soothing to my soul. You brought me out of a deep funk and made me smile and laugh. xxoo
Y: She really was a wonderful woman. Thanks! :-)
Jules: It’s hard not to cry when missing mommies. My mommy-missing usually consists of some tears and, only within the last few months, some smiles and laughs.
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