Saturday, July 01, 2006

Debbie's Lesbian Sister's Girlfriend's Cousin's Wedding

This weekend is going to be a nice, long one I’m hoping. I don’t have to be in until Wednesday, and then I’m going to go in around noon or so. This week has been a little too busy for my liking. I worked last weekend and did extra hours during the week, which I’m not usually inclined to do these days. But…my boss is a really good shit so I was kinda obligated. Well, not obligated, but it was the right thing to do.


Looks like we’re going to get some much-needed rain unless, that is, the meteorologists (aka overpaid guessers) get it wrong, which they’ve been REALLY good at for the last few months.

Got a nephew, wife and kids coming down this weekend. They’re fun, so we should have a good time, rain or shine.


Nothing much of note to report. Just having a busy, and pretty dull life which I suppose isn’t all that bad.


Memory Du Jour:
Texas, 1999 or so
One weekend The Warden (aka Entertainment Director) advised me that we were going to a wedding reception that Saturday. Interesting. I was curious who was getting married and why we were only going to the reception. We used to hang out (and party our asses off) with a couple (Willie and Debbie). Turns out that we were going to Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend’s cousin’s wedding reception. Yeah, that’s right. Laugh? I thought I’d cry. The Warden didn’t see the humor in my repeated declarations of how hilarious that was, and that I couldn’t believe we were actually going to go. But…we went, and we had a really good time. After the reception, the four of us went to Debbie’s lesbian sister’s house to drink the night away. Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend, who was WAY butch (and funny as shit), and I hit it off very well and talked shit (like guys do) all night.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning the subject of kids came up as the six of us sat at the little dining room table. The four heterosexuals at the house (Willie, Debbi, The Warden and I) had kids, and the nice gaygirlcouple wanted them but were not appropriately equipped, obviously. Then, somehow, some way, Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend decided that I was the one who was going to father their children.

The resulting conversation was hilarious. I can’t remember word-for-word specifics, but in our drunken state, everyone (but me, of course) agreed that I would inseminate Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend at some point in the future; and not artificially. She was cool and all (in a guy/guy friend sense), but definitely not someone I would be inclined to put my wiener in. “You’re gonna fuck me and give us a kid one day dude, and that’s real cool of you man. Fuck yeah it’s cool.” And that was followed buy a dude/dude handshake that “iced” the deal. That’s how I remember Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend responding when everyone (but me) decided it would be so. Personally, I wasn’t thrilled by the idea of getting’ nekkid with this chick. Not that I would’ve really gone through with it, but I would’ve been a little more enthusiastic inside if Debbie’s lesbian sister would’ve been the one. She was nice looking, well-built, and probably couldn’t kick my ass, a quality I've always appreciated in a woman.

But alas the Great Lesbian Insemination never came to be. I often wonder if Debbie’s lesbian sister and Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend ever found someone to get Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend knocked up.

Afterthought (7/2): And is Debbie's lesbian sister's girlfriend's cousin, whose wedding reception we attended, still married and doing well? I wonder how Debbie's lesbian sister's girlfriend's cousin's husband is doing. And I wonder what he would think about his wife's lesbian cousin's girlfriend's sister's friend's husband being recruited to inseminate Debbie's lesbian sister's girlfriend.

Graphic Du Jour:

Quote of the Day:
"You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone." — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006


jules said...

OMG- I'm laughing my ass off at the thought of you inseminating the butch lesbian girlfriend. And throwing up a little in my mouth. Ew.

Boobless Brigade Master said...

Yeah, just in case you're wondering...

When one is on new medication that allows one very little sleep and the vicodin one is already on doesn't seem to work at all...

One tends to have to re-read every few sentences because one instinctively knows that " Lebbies Desbian Sister's Girlfriend " just doesn't sound right within the confinement of ones very tired brain.
Good story!

Caryn said...

Great story! It was the post title that drew me in, hthough. How could I not read something with a title like that? Oh, and I LOVED the graphic. Absolutely hilarious. Pretty soon everyone will just be going commando.

Karlos said...

Jules: I’m glad the story cheered you up, even if it did come at a cost (throw up).

BBM: Do you think the story would be funny without the prescription drugs? :-) I do like “Lebbie’s Desbian” though. I might use that, if you don’t mind, when I get to writing my collection of “based on true stories” short stories. Thanks for dropping by. Hope all is well.

Caryn: That post title has been cracking me up for years; even before it was a post title! The title highlights and verifies the absurdity of the whole going-to-a-complete-stranger’s-wedding-reception scenario!

R. said...


Bunny ~N~ Early said...

I loved the "Debbie's Lesbian Sister's Girlfriend's Cousin's Wedding"story and I was straight when I read it. Early thinks you may have been able to make it through the insemination part without getting your ass kicked, if you wore a French maid outfit, handcuffed her and did her from behind.
Just a thought...

Webmiztris said...

that would have made you like David Crosby to Melissa Etheridge! lmao!

Karlos said...

Nay: Hi!

Y: Would that have been a French maid outfit with a blindfold by chance? Glad you liked the account. It really was a riot.

WebMiz: But Melissa Etheridge is much better looking than Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend :-)