Saturday, May 12, 2007

Mixed Emotions

ANGER MANAGEMENT
I’m not an angry or violent person, but today some prick in a truck tested the core of my self control. The Warden and I were on our way to her mother’s house this morning. Picture this…We’re in the middle lane going under a highway overpass. Our lane allows traffic to travel straight or to turn left. The left lane is a left turn only lane. The right lane is straight only. We were just coming out from under the overpass and this fucking prick in the right lane turned left in front of us, nearly clipping us. Yeah, that’s right – in front of us and the car to our left! The Warden laid on the horn and I had an killer double bird pointed in his direction. I was livid. I view hat kind of carelessness and disregard toward the lives of me and my family as assault. I’m quite sure, had idiotboy clipped us and caused an accident, I would have beaten him to a bloody pulp; after asking him if he was okay, of course.

There were a few other idiot drivers today that came way to close to hitting us. Had the last dumbass we encountered (in the Home Depot parking lot) hit us, I think I would’ve fucking snapped. Ever see that movie “Falling Down”? If you have, that’s how I felt.

I’m okay now though…really.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE
Went to one of those 99 cent stores today for a couple of scrub brushes. As we were checking out, I noticed a tall display of big cans of jalapeño peppers. How did I know that? Because the word jalapeño stood out on each of the 50 or so visible cans like a sore thumb. The bright yellow sign taped to the giant jalapeño sign next to all those cans with the word jalapeño on it said: Halopeneos .50.

I wish I’d had my fucking camera. It was priceless.

EVEN LIGHTER
While engaged in manual labor at The Warden’s Mom’s house, a dude drove by, stopped, got out, and handed me a business card, telling me in Spanish that he cuts lawns and trees. Cool -- Someone looking to make money some way other than holding up a cardboard sign at a busy intersection. I can respect that. “Muchas gracias señor.” And he was on his way.

Hand-written on the business card were the words “Tree treem.” If phonetics count, he spelled “trim” right – As he pronounces it.

3 comments:

Arlene said...

I hate people that can't drive, and, well, lets face it, most folks on the road can't drive for shit! I suffer from serious road rage, and have, on more than one occasion, wondered how bad it would hurt if I did get into an accident and took an air bag to the nose. Yup, everything still revolves around my nose right now :-D
Glad you guys are ok though, and no one had to bail you out of jail :-P
Hilarious about the .99 cent store!! You officially need a camera phone!!
I give the mexican dude a high five, for workin' his butt off, and spellin' like he speaks :-D I think we've established I can't spell for shit lately :-D

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Falling down is one of Ney's favorite flicks. I think there's some kind of rule against whooping ass on idiots, at least there is in Washington, or at least that's what our lawyers tell Early.
Aw man, tell me you had your big ol Halopeneo hat on when you were at your MOL house and the Mexican gave you the beesness card.

Carlos said...

Arlene: Thanks for the empathy! I don't feel so alone now ;- I shoulda high fived that dude!

Bunny~n~Early: Another of the many reasons I dig Nay. It's one of my fave flicks too. Unfortunately, my halopeneo sombrero got tossed in the early 90s. :-( Hope all is well with you guys. Emailed Nay a couple of times but never hear anything back. Gave up calling....she never answers. Maybe I should take the hint ;-)