Sunday, March 09, 2008

Man(?) vs. Nature

Once upon a time there was a professional golfer named Tripp Isenhour (John Henry Isenhour III). One day young Tripp was filming a golfing video called “Shoot Like a Pro” in Florda.

During a shooting sequence, a red-shouldered hawk (protected migratory species) pissed him off by doing something hawks occasionally do – Squawk.

Rather than wait for the hawk to move on, Tripp took matters into his own hands and started whacking golf balls at the bird. The bird stayed, so Isenhour drove away.

But the pesky hawk wasn’t quite done. It moved closer to Isenhour, apparently intent on ruining the taping altogether (you know how hawks do that every now and then). The irate golfer started lobbing balls at the hawk again:

"’About the sixth ball came very near the bird's head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,’ Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine wrote in his report.”

Isenhour hit the bird in the head and it died.

Isendumbass said it was a one-in-a-milion accident. Right.

“Oops! I tripped over an anthill and accidently hit few balls at a bird in a tree, then drove away, then got in my cart and drove closer to the bird and hit a few more balls at the bird until one hit it in the head and it died. My bad. I’m remorseful, so let’s move on to something more important than an allegedly grown/mature 39-year-old man killing an animal because it fucked up his golf shot.”

Imagine how he quiets crying babies.

Sources: Multiple

7 comments:

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

OK, I'm sorta back. Still feeling a bit sorry for myself but my anger is under control. Lemme know what you think.

reneeg255 said...

What a dumdfuck of a "man?"!!!!

I think he should have to be subjected to flying golf balls,baseballs...

Aloha my dear friend!!!

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Classic!

Flyinfox_SATX

Anonymous said...

I got so bent out of shape about your last post that I didn't comment because I knew it was going to be a long one and take awhile. I figured I'd come back and spew fourth my opinion tonight. Then I stop by and read this! WTF is wrong with the world? I'm starting to find myself angry and jaded lately.

A grown man killing a frigging bird because it was basically breathing the same air!!! I don't remember reading anything about him cooking it up for lunch afterward, so it wasn't because he was starving. This man obviously has some anger issues. Another self important, spoiled, prick that no one would be caught dead with if he didn't have the money or fame (though I've never heard of him). It must suck to be that embarrassing to be around.

Bunny

What a loser.

Woozie said...

A RickRoll would have done the trick..

Carlos said...

Nigel: Welcome friend. Glad to have you back. What do I think? I like!

Nay: Aloha fucker! Hope you’re diggin’ life in the land of the brown!

FlyinFox: Amazing, ain’t it?

Bunny: Loser indeed. I was pretty irate myself. That’s why I waited a day or so before posting about this dunce.

Woozie: Fucking fuck you fucker!

Woozie said...

No thanks, I think Coke Can Carlos would bring armageddon to my nether regions.