Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers Day

I never knew my father. My mother left him when I was around 18 months old after a bad stretch of marriage. I've often thought of trying to find him in Mexico City through old family friends, but it always seems to be a fleeting thought. I suppose one day I'll regret it when he's not around any more.

I didn't live with my kids full-time until 2003 (one was 14, the other was 11. They're now 20 & 17). Before that I worked out of state. Their mother (my soon to be ex) wanted to keep them geographically stable, something she didn't have as a kid. I didn't either, but I turned out okay (I think). So...I was never the person they ran to when they needed comfort or advice. Not because I was a bad father, but rather because they didn't know me so well. Every time I see a kid running and jumping into his/her father's arms and hugging tight it kinda hurts. I always wanted to be that dad.

My daughter called me yesterday and asked me what I wanted to do for Fathers Day. It made my year. The three of us are going out to dinner later this afternoon. I'm looking forward to seeing them. I love them and miss them very, very, very much.


unokhan said...

cheers to you and yours. and happy solstice

Rimpy said...

Wow, man. I didn't know this stuff. I've been slowly reading your archives from the beginning towards present time. I did wonder why there didn't seem to be any stories about your dad. Maybe I should finish catching up before I ask this, so forgive me for being confused: is The Warden step-mom or biological mom to The Boy and The Girl? Best wishes to you this Fathers Day. You sound like a great dad to me.

Anonymous said...

I bet the three of you had a great day!!!

My Mom did the same thing, was it right or wrong? Do I feel deprived? It was what is was, we can't change that.

I'm not gonna get all philosophical, I can't, I'm not that deep ;)

But here is to all the Dads:



Flyinfox_SATX said...

Its Amazing to me how our lives are similar Carlos. Yesterday, for Father's Day, I got to spend some good quality time with two of my kids.

I really enjoyed the time, better than any material gift I could have gotten.

Carlos said...

Unokhan: Ditto, friend :-)

Rimpy: I'm honored you've taken the time to read my drivel. :-) The Warden is the kids' biological mother. No problem on the confusion. I wouldn't expect you commit everything in my blog to memory. Thank you for the kind words.

Nay: It was a nice afternoon. The Girl even paid for dinner, which made my heart melt. I told her she didn't have to pay, but she said, "It's Fathers Day, Dad." I didn't argue. And don't short change yourself. You're plenty deep. Love you, friend!

Fox: Glad you had some good time, my blogger friend. Maybe one of these days we'll have the good fortune to meet. You seem like a good soul.

TC said...

Whenever we ask my Dad what he wants for Father's Day (or any holiday really) he always says "To spend time with you kids." Of course... that's kinda difficult to do when he's thousands of miles away, but I guess we make up for it later on you know? It's not always about the day itself, even if it does hurt a bit.

Hope you and the kids had a wonderful day :)

Shelley said...

Moving around during your childhood (what your children would have done) does not hurt. It is all a family deal. Before I joined the USAF my family lived in 22 different places and I went to 17 different schools. No. My Dad (whom I terribly missed on Father's Day) was not in the military. His occupation just moved him around. All it did was make all of us kids closer. Hey, you are never going to have a REAL BFF, but your brothers and sister will always be there for you.

My daughter also grew up without a father - he was an asshole as I found out after the ceremony. Being with him for 5 1/2 months and 4 months pregnant I left. She really says it was no problem, since she really didn't know what it was like to grow up with one to begin with. She is, however, a little apprehensive about the marriage thing and would rather just live with a guy for the rest of her life. No problem...

Love you, Baby and glad you had a good Father's Day!!!

Melissa said...

I hope you had a great dinner with them. Thanks for sharing so personally. I'm sure they're wonderful kids and you did the best you could with the circumstances you were given with them.