Sunday, June 07, 2009


So I haven’t blogged for a while – Big deal. Lack of readership kinda takes the wind out of one’s sails to be honest. Once upon a time I had a herd of readers; nothing prolific, but there were a few.

Anyway…enough whining. I just got back Friday from a week-long business trip to Charleston, South Carolina. I’d intended to play another round of “Where the Fuck is Carlos?” but I just didn’t see the point (not enough contestants). So I didn’t. The trip was good. Nothing earth shattering, but I had the opportunity to tip a few back with a couple of furriners, whom I’ve come to grow fond of after the last two business trips I’ve been on.

Have any of you seen Lee Majors, former Bionic Man and doinker of Farrah Fawcett, in his new commercial? Talk about a sellout! The dude is hawking, get this, the “Lee Majors Bionic Rechargeable Hearing Aid.” Jesus. And then he goes on to advise viewers to place their units in the recharge case. I’ve got news for Mr. Majors – I ain’t putting my unit in anything that isn’t warm and woman. Swear. Here’s a video of the commercial in case you’re interested. The quality’s a little crappy, but…eh.

Yesterday Shelley and I were at the store. While attempting to convey a story about my son’s visit to a good friend’s Japanese restaurant, I discovered I couldn’t fucking say, “sushi chef” without much difficulty. I’ve been alive for over 46 years now; it’s hard to believe it took me this long to find something I really had difficulty pronouncing. I used to go to high school with a chick from Tennessee who couldn’t say squirrel for the life of her, but I attributed that to the South. I have no excuses other than my brain must have some sort of short-circuit. I have a million excuses about why my brain may have short-circuited, but we won’t get into that just now. Try saying the following tongue twister a couple of times (I just made it up). I can’t do it ONCE without fucking it up:

Sushi chef Suzy’s shark’s shirt’s satin sheen shone Sunday.


Sushi chef Suzy said she sold sushi.

This one used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records as the hardest tongue twister in the world. Interestingly, I can say this one very quickly without any problems:

The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.

Oh yeah. Nigel's back - or so he says. So go buff his scrotum.

Adios for now.


Rimpy said...

Lee Majors' sell-out vies for all-time pathos with Evel Knievel's Legend Scooter ads (

You sound discouraged. Don't be! I know it's hard to gauge readership, especially when people don't leave comments. I have my favorite bloggers in my blogroll, that way, when they post something new, I can rush right on over and give it a look. I always read, but I don't often comment, especially if I feel like I don't have anything original to add. I wish there was a simpler a way to let people know you visited.

The_Gator said...

Thats Horse shit...i would have won too. I know Charleston SC pretty damn well.

now i must read the rest of the post.

The_Gator said...

yeah i still got nothing...still pissed off that i didnt have the opportunity to freaking win.

Carlos said...

Rimpy: Thanks for the kind words. I was a little off yesterday. Shelley can attest to that. Evel..Jesus!!

Gator: Dude! I didn't think you were still reading. I'm off this morning for another adventure. I may kick off another game. Good luck!

TC said...

I haven't scared all my readers away yet, but I just haven't been blogging. Seems to be that time of year where blogging tapers off.