Thursday, May 27, 2010

Three Word Wednesday









The rules, if you wanna call 'em that, are here.
Today's Words: Abandon, Gradual, Precise

The driver, eased up next to her. She noticed the gradual drift of the other car as it was directly abeam of hers. He was on the phone, oblivious to the world. She wondered if she should abandon her position in traffic, and slow down to let Mr. Center of the Universe slip into her lane – In the interest of safety, of course. At once, she decided against it and gave the horn two taps.

In a split second, and simultaneously: he turned his head toward her; he noticed the woman’s middle finger extended toward him. Her mouth formed the unmistakable, voiceless labiodental fricative that would surely precede “uck you!”

She saw the man jerk the wheel in response to the sudden realization of the close proximity of his car to hers, a look of surprise on his face. His car lurched to the right and was nearly immediately out of her view. Three seconds later she saw it tumbling down the interstate in her rear-view-mirror, glass and metal flying up into the air as it rolled and flipped. She saw smoke rising from other cars’ tires as drivers stood on brakes to avoid hitting the somersaulting hunk of metal and the poor, self-centered man who had been discharged from it. The reactions of both the man and the woman were precise

For a split-second she thought it was her fault.
For a split-second he thought about his family.

12 comments:

ThomG said...

And he sticks the ending. Love it.

Matt Merritt said...

Thought provoking piece.

gautami tripathy said...

I like the pace...

It is good to see you again, Carlos!

undefined paths

pia said...

Love the ending

bluepapercranes said...

i agree with gautami. the pace was very well thought out. everything goes by so fast and then you slow it down, right at the end. love it.

anthonynorth said...

Great ending.

Jay Thurston said...

Fast and direct writing. There's a lot to this scene in so few words. It is eerie when events like this happen that it seems to happen in slow motion.

Timothy P. Remp said...

Great piece. Awesome ending!

-Tim

Lilibeth said...

Makes me want to choke somebody.

Carlos said...

Thank you all for your kind words. It's good to see those I've not seen for a while!

@Lilibeth - Maybe you should see someone about that.

one more believer said...

yeah, absolutely what they all sed!!!

Rimpy said...

Wow, dude. Awesome. I guess I didn't notice this one last week because the title was the same as the previous post. Really nice piece.