I've Died And Gone To Hell
It was hot as freakin’ hell yesterday. Our thermometer got to a high of 102.9 degrees. Today the thermometer read 101.5 degrees. And this is only April. That just ain’t right. It’s supposed to cool down to the mid 80s on Wednesday. Time to break out the parka!
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A forty-three-year-old friend of ours has found a new boyfriend. We haven’t met him yet, but all indications are that he’s a dirtbag. I ordinarily don’t pass judgment on someone based on hearsay, but the facts are there to support his categorization:
He’s 35 years old.
He lives with his mom (not necessarily a big deal in and of itself)
He claims to be a master electrician
He never has any money (Master electricians make good $)
He’s married/separated (2yrs or so)
He claims to be a biker, yet he has no bike.
He has no car.
He has no transportation whatsoever.
He crashed our friend’s Explorer after a night of drinking.
To top things off, the psycho-warning light is flashing. On the occasions that he doesn’t have any money to go out (which is much of the time), our friend goes out with girlfriends. She stopped going to her regular haunts because Loser Boy has friends watching her and reporting what she’s doing to him. One time when the girls were at a little outdoor icehouse, the guy drove by with friends (their car of course) and called one of the girls on her cell phone. I don’t remember what he said exactly, but whatever it was, the message was intended to let our friend know he knew what she was doing.
So, with all the red warning lights and klaxons sounding, our good friend, and dumbass at the moment, is still hangin’ with the guy.
The Warden has offered her advice, which has been really good, but she just doesn’t get it. She thinks he’s “the one.”
Why are some women so blind and dumb?
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I have my opinions about the immigration issue. Regardless of what decisions our D.I.G.s (dumbasses in government) make, it isn’t going to be an easy one. There are a lot of considerations for sure. I could rant on this subject forever, but wanted to point you to a post in one of my other blogs.
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Memory Du Jour:
One hot, hot summer day in Arizona, 1979
Darla, Nancy, Dennis, Dave and I sat at the back edge of Darla’s acre under the orange trees smoking doobs. A severe case of the munchies followed, so we commenced to picking and dining on oranges – Lots and lots of them. Later that night I realized what an amazing laxative oranges were.
Quote of the Day:
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. – Jack Handey
6 comments:
Heh heh...I have an orange story too!
I was in the 5th grade, my friend stole a couple of her mother's cigarettes and we took refuge in an abandoned/burned out house to try them for the first time.
She also brought an orange for us to eat...to cover the smell of the smoke. Believe it or not, I didn't come from a very health concious family to begin with and had never had an orange before. Well, to be more direct...we ate fastfood...a lot. I had one piece of the orange, and barely got it down due to the nasty taste...and then I got the hives, all over my face. Found out the hard way that I'm allergic to oranges. Yeah, 20/20 now...says I got what I deserved.
As for your friend...you've heard of little-man-syndrome? She's either temporarily got little-victim-syndrome and likes attention from everyone or she mistakeningly thinks she can change him for the better.
That 104 is hot no matter where you are - even in TX. I'll be it ain't no "dry" heat, either. As for your friend's dirtbag guy, it is amazing how many women simply ignore every red flag that goes up. I actually think some women are subconsciously attracted to trouble.
Glad you are getting a break from the heat tomorrow - some break. I swear if the temps were in the triple digits here this entire region would spontaneously combust and I'm not kidding! Thank God for small favors - we've had mid 80's to low 90's.
Your friend's "boyfriend" is a living, breathing, walking (haha) red flag. But sounds like she will follow the path that many of us before her (myself included) have traveled - the road of hard knocks. Loser Boy is the perfect name for him.
I really enjoy reading your "Memory Du Jour" posts.
wow, women really can be stupid. someone needs to grab her and shake her and scream, "Are you fucking RETARDED!?"
love the memory du jour!
Yup I'd say the psycho-warning light is definitely flashing very bright, I'm sure I heard sirens while reading this also. Keep us updated. I'm with you... I don't get it.
The Memory Du Jour: was too funny today.
Great post btw.
Lol Webmiz!
BrigadeMaster: Great orange story! Thanks for sharing. The friend is most likely under the misconception that she can make this guy what she wants. Ha!
Stringman: Yeah, it sure ain’t a dry heat. That reminds me of something I’ve heard so many times over my life when I’ve brought up that I lived in AZ for 10 years: “Oh, but that’s a dry heat.” Yeah, right. 107 in Texas (hottest I’ve personally experienced here) is nothing compared to 122 (hottest I saw in AZ) by far.
Sheila: I’m hoping today’s temp will be tolerable. The weather freaks fucked up yesterday, calling for highs in the 90s. Our thermostat read a high of 100. Today it’s only supposed to get up to 84 or 85. We’ll see. I haven’t heard much about Loser Boy (yes, great name) during the last few days. The Warden needs to get an update. I’m glad you enjoy the “Memory Du Jour” posts. I enjoy posting them.
WebMiz: Maybe I’ll give her a little Email shaking the next time I hear some bullshit about Loser Boy. Might be different coming from a guy’s perspective.
Y: I don’t have any doubt that you heard sirens. The guy’s a freak. The last boyfriend she had was an underachiever, but he was a nice guy. He made an honest living, was good to her and her kids, was good to us and our kids, and was just a decent guy all around. I didn’t have a lick in common with him so he wasn’t someone I’d hang with, but he was a good dude. She ditched him though. Go figure. :-)
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