Friday, February 02, 2007

Bad Pussy


So there I was, minding my own business. I was enjoying the simple pleasures of watching a 50” high definition tee-vee from a fat leather chair (wondering what the po’ folk were doing). Suddenly, I saw something black flash before my eyes, from left to right. Hey, that flash had fur, I thought. I snapped my head to the right, only to see Bob (you remember Bob don’t you? Bob the Cat?) ending his supersonic run. “Holy shit,” I exclaimed. “He was haulin’ ass.” The Boy agreed, telling me that Sunny, our chicken shit yellow tabby, had been chasing him.

It was then that I noticed my left arm. There were two perfect “burnout” marks on it. Each mark represented one of Bob’s two back paws (and claws). Apparently, his supersonic time trial had begun in the kitchen. Rather than try to negotiate the tight maneuver (on Saltillo tile and wood floors) that would’ve been required to get around me and the chair I was sitting in, Bob opted to go airborne and use my left forearm as a springboard to launch over me, a stool, and part of another piece of furniture.

I recall referring to Bob as both a motherfucker and a son of a bitch. Poor Bob. He’s so misunderstood.

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The word funny was once the number one word that brought people to my blog. While I do think that some of my posts have been mildly entertaining, I certainly don’t think I’ve got myself a humor blog here.

Anyway….The long-time leaderword (funny) has been replaced by Vonage, with Bacos a close third and closing. Apparently there are a lot of people interested in either the fabulous Linda O’Neil or the blond bimbo she plays in that Vonage commercial I commented on a short time back. Here are the top five words:

Vonage 47
Funny 44
Bacos 39
Ingredients 35
Commercial 31

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Since I’m on the topic of web stats, here are a few select search phrases that have brought people here over the last two weeks.

Linda O’Neil
Women on Vonage commercial
Woman sharks vonage
Linda O’Neil blog
Vonage shark commercial (x2)
Woman Vonage commercial
Blonde girl on Vonage commercial dolphins
Linda oneil pics
Linda O’Neil pics
Vonage beach bimbo
Vonage commercial girl shark

Bacos ingredients (x2)
Erect weiner photos
Buda Weiner Blog

Barefoot poo
Rat shit wheat
Rotating blue jelly beaver
Driver has big nut sticker
Lost in space (x4)
Lost in space robot
Old robot

Girls getting fucked by dogs
Girls getting horse
And 8 other references along those lines (minus the animals)




6 comments:

Webmiztris said...

"Girls getting fucked by dogs"

ugh. who are the creeps who search for this shit?

sorry about your arm - it looks like it hurts like hell! I remember one time a cat was trying to break into our house via a small tear in the screen and my cat SPAZZED. I tried to pick him up to put him in the spare room while we took care of the would-be intruder and he DESTROYED my thigh. holy shit, it hurt!

The_Gator said...

I too have been scratched many times...Since then i learned not to go near the damn thing.....of course that doesnt work when the cat is coming near me....

jules said...

Is it wrong that I'm laughing on the inside? Aw hell, Karlos...I'm laughing out loud.

R. said...

Hey there you!!! I think you are slowly revealing to us that you and the Warden are into S&M. First the "iron burn" now the "cat scratches". Mkay buddy, what next?

By the way what is up with the handicap dude next to the word verification?

Margaret said...

"Rat Shit Wheat" !!!!!!

I'm showing a strange number of pimple squeezing addicts and an obsessive number of dominant wife searches.

Needless to say, the state of the world is starting to scare me.

Bad Bob! It could be worse, ours decided that it was the perfect time to hop from our counter to the kitchen table via my back while I was bending down to pick something up. Only I stood back up in the midst of his stunt.

He meowed something to the tune of "What the f*ck, bitch?" as he dug his nails into me and carved me like a Thanksgiving turkey.

sudiegirl said...

Your poor arm!

Poor guy - better put some Bactine on it.

Bob the cat is a gorgeous boy, though...if you ever want to get rid of him just punch some holes in a box, stuff him in and send him to me.