Sunday, March 25, 2007

Size Matters

EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE
I went to bed way too early last night and was awakened by a biological reveille at 3:00am. I watched one round of Headline News, petted Cleo, who came to greet me, and then sat down at the computer. Just about the time I started checking blogs (which I’ve been sucking at lately and I apologize), an infomercial came on the ol’ tee-vee.

The commercial was for a penis “enhancement” product (that should get me some blog traffic!) called Extenze, the “The all natural male enhancement capsule that can really make a difference.” The infomercial was horrible. Not that others aren’t; it’s just that this one really sucked. There was some chick with horrible boobs talking to some loser feigning concern about “small” men everywhere. I know I shouldn’t expect actors on a penis enlargement commercial to be particularly skilled at their craft, but these dorks were awful. Dubya is a better actor than these two, if that tells you anything.

If I somehow found myself in the market for a “male enhancement” product, I can’t imagine buying one spelled e-x-t-e-n-z-e. And I damned sure wouldn’t buy a product that sidestepped the real issue. I mean, if I wanted my penis enhanced, I’d go out and get some decals for it; maybe add some pin striping or even a spoiler. Know what I mean? Dudes with small wieners don’t want their li’l dudes enhanced, they want them to freakin’ grow!

LOBECTOMY
My mother-in-law got through surgery fine on Friday. The she had the upper lobe of her right lung removed. There was no indication of metastasis and that’s good. Final pathological tests will be complete on Monday. Keep your fingers crossed.

SCHOOLBOY
The semester is over. Got As in both classes. I had a go-round with the professor of one of the classes about a definition in a question on the final exam. I pled my case and finally got credit for the question. Her error.

The next semester starts soon. I’m taking logic this time around. Should be interesting. I thought about taking two classes again, but that’s a little much for me at this juncture in my life.


NOSTROVIA, BITCHES!

When was the last time you had a White Russian? I went over to a friend’s place the other day to fix her way ailing computer (spyware, etc.) and she was kind enough to feed me two tasty White Russians, something I hadn’t had since 1984! I enjoyed the WRs and her company.


CARTOON


PHOTO
Four Friends
Oak Creek, Arizona -- 1983




4 comments:

jules said...

Two classes can be a bitch when you're working and dealing with family! Good to see you passed and I don't have to come spank you!

Webmiztris said...

white russians are all my mom drinks. she even brings her own milk jug to the bars 1/2 the time because a few of the bars we go to don't keep milk in stock! lol now that's dedication. :)

Arlene said...

That was one random post!!
I was doing 5 classes a semester, for 2 years, and working full time! Although I aced everything, and finished with a 4.0, I can guarantee you I didn't retain much! I think 1 class is plenty if you're working!! And kudos on your good grades!!
I'm glad your mother in law came out ok :-) I'll cross my fingers that the tests all come out fine tomorrow :-)
That infomercial sounds like a train wreck...I think I would have been drawn in too!!
White Russian, yuck! I don't like creamy drinks!!

Carlos said...

Jules: What? No spanking now?! Shit. ;-)

WebMiz: That sure is dedication! Your mom sounds okay in my book!

Arlene: I’m a random kind of guy! 5 classes a semester? That’s freakin’ crazy! My wife, aka The Warden, did crazy shit like that…4 classes once while working full time, raising two kids, tending to a house, etc. I was working out of state. I don’t know how some of you women do it!