Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm Back

THE CHEF IS NUTS
Am I the only one in the world who has a sentimental attachment to kitchen utensils? Yeah, I know. That probably sounds a little weird, but hear me out. I have a few select kitchen utensils that I inherited after my mother passed away that I remember seeing and using as far back as 1968. I like using them because, as strange as it may sound, it makes me feel good. You’ve heard of comfort food….Imagine how good it tastes when made using comfort utensils.
BAD PUSSY
I forgot to tell ya'll that, after all these years (going back to when I was 12 or so) I finally got an allergy test, and I'm allergic to fucking cats. We have three. I grew up with them too. I don't get all sneezy or anything these days, but the Dr. said my body's aversion to pussy (the four-legged variety) would explain recurring sinus infections..

BEST STONES SONG?
Hands down it’s “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking.” Don’t argue with me now. That’s just the way it is. Here are the lyrics.

TITLES OF MY TWO BESTSELLERS (and movies)
If I ever finish ‘em
"The Weed Garden" About the hard life of Jimmy Prasek, a kind, but rough and tumble, Texas Gulf Coast shrimp fisherman who is simply born to lose. The book gets its title from Jimmy’s best friend’s reference to Jimmy’s front “lawn” as nothing more than a weed garden.

"Debbie’s Lesbian Sister’s Girlfriend’s Cousin’s Wedding" Based generally on a first-hand experience of mine where we actually did go to a friend’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend’s cousin’s wedding. I remember looking at The Warden while we were on our way to the wedding and saying, “do you realize where we’re going?” No response – Just a look. “We’re going to Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend’s cousin’s wedding. Have you ever heard of something so fuckin’ ridiculous in your life?” We both burst into laughter and continued to the festivities. The night really was ridiculous…and fun to boot.

THE COAST
The trip to the coast was awesome. The fishing sucked, but the rest was delightfully relaxing. I owe a few pictures, and promise to go through them and post some soon.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"There's a lot of blowhards in the political process, you know, a lot of hot-air artists, people who have got something fancy to say." — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 17, 2007

10 comments:

The_Gator said...

wow I wish there was more to the sentence (or two) about your trip to the gulf. You were away for so long there must be more to it than that. YOU WERE ON A BEACH...WHERE ARE ALL THE TITTYS?!!!!?!?!?!?!

Boobless Brigade Master said...

Totally understand what you mean. I've got a couple of forks and knives from 19whoknowswhen, but as far back as my Great-Great Grandparents (whom I fondly remember)...and a happy Mama I'm not, when I haven't used the but want to and they're dirty in the sink.

Arlene said...

Why is he allowed to speak? Seriously.
I'm glad you guys had such a great trip, even though the fishing sucked, and I can't wait to see pictures!!
Allergic to pussy...ouch...that's gotta suck ;-)

renee255 said...

Pictures, waiting patiently:) Glad it was nice trip. And Gator says you owe lots of titty pictures.

Thee "The Weed Garden" sounds like a comedy, is it? Is it a short read? It sounds comical, but then I think Rob Zombies movies are hysterical.

I actually have a fond attachment to a few of my utensils, one being my cheeese grater that I inherited by ~Y~ leaving it behind on Wesley Street, and she will never get it back!. It is the best cheese grater I've ever owned and gosh knows I had searched the world all over and there it was I found true love left in my kitchen drawer.

Missed you dear!!!

The Chick said...

Allergic to pussy? Shoot me if I ever become allergic to dick.

Webmiztris said...

"Debbie’s Lesbian Sister’s Girlfriend’s Cousin’s Wedding"

love that!

I would cry if I developed an allergy to cats... my husband is slightly allergic to some cats (like my parent's cats), but he's not allergic to our own thank god.... are you going to keep the kitties anyway??

Carlos said...

Gator: As much as I would have loved to snap photos of titties on the beach to share with you, there just weren’t any bare ones to be found. The nude beach (unofficial nude beach that is), is about 20 miles south of where we were on Padre Island. We were on Mustang Island, and somehow I don’t think The Warde or the Niece would have agreed with my idea to go on a photo shoot ;-)

BBM: Whew! I’m not nuts after all. Wait…unless we’re both nuts! ;-)

Arlene: That is a great question. I think he’s allowed to speak to entertain us! Yeah…the pussy allergy sucks but fortunately it’s not an allergy that causes sneezing, runny eyes, etc.

Nay: Pictures. Yes. All I have to do is pull ‘em off the laptop, shrink ‘em down a bit fer the web, and post. Hopefully this weekend I’ll get off my lazy ass and do it! The Weed Garden is intended to be kind of a darkly funny story. I’ve had writer’s block on it for a good while though.

Chick: I shall add that to my list.

WebMiz: D.L.S.G.C.W. That’s the one I really want to get started on! Kats are still here. I don’t plan on getting rid of them. I’ve lived with the allergy for decades, I suppose 8-10 more years won’t hurt. The doc asked me the other day if I’d made them outside cats. I can’t do that. Only one, Bob, would do well outside. The other two are soft, indoor kitties.

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

What a great post! As for kitchen utensils, we sometimes use them for cooking more than just food , so ye I know what ya mean about sentimental value.
I'm allergic to pussy, horses and dogs, but mostly pussy. Love em anyway.
Debbie’s lesbian sister’s girlfriend’s cousin’s wedding. You should give that title to Webmiz for a Pussy whipped song, that would be great.

GATOR LOL TITTYS!

Ney
I want my cheese grator back!

The_Gator said...

oh cheese GRATER i thought you were both fighting over me...and maybe i had cheese on me.

Carlos said...

Bunny ~n~ Early: Thanks! I like the song idea. I’ll have to give it some thought!

Gator: Aren’t you on vacation or something? ;-)