Monday, September 24, 2007

Check, One Two, Two, Three, Fooouuurr

Mr. Fucking Microphone
Remember this classic lame commercial? I do. I sent Nay an email yesterday afternoon in which I said, in part, “chat ya later.” It reminded me of that old Mr. Fucking Microphone commercial from the 70s.

The worst part about the commercial is the loser in the convertible: “Hey good lookin’. We’ll be back to pick you up later.” (about :28 into the vid). Why the fuck didn’t that dweeb just stop and pick good lookin’ up right then and there?

Yeah kids…that was an actual commercial some of us used to suffer though when we were actual kids.

One of my Yahoo email addresses gets a fair amount of spam. A couple of subjects caught my eye yesterday:

“Hey Mr. Here is how to score all the women.”
All the women? No shit? I don’t think I have enough life left in me to score all the women but, if I were single and there wasn’t a risk of death by sex, I’d damn sure give it a go, provided I was allowed the latitude of a discretionary selection process. Don’t get me wrong, the intent to score all the women would be there, but I’d start with select candidates. Among them might be a French newshottie named Melissa Theuriau.

“3 FREE Bottles Of ManSter!!
This email was from someone named Graciela Carney. That sounded benign enough, so I opened the email to claim my three bottles of ManSter. I saw a URL (which I’ve omitted for your online safety), followed by the following gibberish:

“laity wavy oily york acton grist yore grief.grist spunk ooze cerise
tunnel fan jason squawk adduce. fahey ..”

Would someone please translate?

Before I sent off a self-addressed stamped envelope, I figured it might be prudent to do a little research. I Googled Manster and found penis pills, cock capsules, a movie (half man, half monster!), a web site developer, a music production company, and (for some reason) an awful-sounding Belgian band with an awful sounding name: “Joanna and the Grumpies.”

I think I’ll pass.

But don’t stop there!
I got an instant message, via my Yahoo screen name, from Sonny_04081989. Yeah, that’s right, it was the president of Yahoo himself! Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself!

Humorous Graphic

Homer's Brain:
Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's Brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!


renee255 said...

That graphic cracked me up!!!

Sudiegirl said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anything but Mr. Microphone.

What about the Pocket Fisherman? God knows everyone needs to fish in their pockets once in a while...

The_Gator said...

OMG SHES HOT. I am single. Ok im going to france! Melissa here i come!

Flyinfox_SATX said...


I bow to you today for this blog post. Yes, I remember Mr. Microphone...I remember that the girls would use it for other things once they found about reverse feedback....

Melissa- Schwing!

I can't help you with the other Spam as I deal with quite a bit of my own. Right now I think I am translating one of those e-mails that came to me and its the actual Torah!


Webmiztris said...

omg, I used to have one of those microphones when I was little! I forgot all about that. I used to think it was the coolest thing!

Arlene said...

I love the step ladder!!! Hilarious!
I get some GREAT spam! I try not to click on it, but every so often I think it MIGHT be legit. Bah. Damn spammers!

Margaret said...

Please don't take the "Manster" stuff. That's the last thing you need. Gosh, you'll roll over in bed one night in Texas and I'll wake up all the way over here in Georgia with my mobile home smashed in two.

My home is insured against many events, but I don't think a penis bashing is one of them.

Woozie said...

Bah. Everyone else always gets the fun spam. Where's my spam?

Carlos said...

NayNay: Me too. The Boy was sitting in the living room the other day and started laughing. He showed it to me and I laughed equally hard!

SudieGirl: Yeeeesssss! Pocket Fisherman! That was a really funny product!

Gator: Hot is the understatement of the century.

FlyinFox: Reverse feedback indeed! Lol. Fortunately, I get very little SPAM in my RR mailbox. I don’t use it for anything other than communicating with family and very close friends. I have a few Yahoo addresses I use to sign up for shit and for other stuff, and boy to those addresses get spammed!

WebMiz: No fuckin’ way!! Did you ride around in a convertible trying to pick up boys? Funny….

Arlene: I love reading some of that crap. It’s, well, craptastic! Good move being careful with the spam.

Margie: Fret not. I shan’t order any of the stuff. The last thing I want to do is crush you with a monster, Manster-sized Texas wiener from afar! ;-)

Wooz: Ya want I should send ya some? ;-)