Monday, December 10, 2007


A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Home
I picked The Girl up from school at the prescribed time today. We talked and commented on the cuffed punks getting pinched by the cops as we drove by.

Since rap shit (it ain’t music) isn’t permitted to be played in my car, we were listening to some country radio.

Out of nowhere The Girl belched. She covered her mouth, looking at me with a mild level of astonishment. “Did you hear that?” “No.” “I burped and farted at the same time!”

If only she got as excited about school ;-)

I’ve got floaters. I was sitting here typing an email to my cousin, a noted pastry chef, and I saw them little things floating around my field of vision. You know….those little amoeba looking things. Everyone gets ‘em right? Anyway….thought I’d share that with you guys.

Bad Santa


Shelley said...

You Bastahds! You're not getting anything in your stockings!

Dude! I'm a-feared.

Margaret said...

Hehe, I'm still trying to teach our daughter not to give herself away on the Silent but deadlies by saying, "Excuse me."

Never heard them called a floater before. I thought someone backwashed in your drink at first.

Oh man, Santa's busted. He should have said he was delivering Flour to the Mrs. for Christmas cookies.

reneeg255 said...

That video is too fucking funny!!!

Will you email it to me please!

The_Gator said...

based on the previous paragraph...i thought he was refering to the floaters left in the toilet, when one forgets to flush.

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

I had the same thought as the gator, at first!

Flyinfox_SATX said...

You could tell your daughter that if she would have sneezed at that time, she could have exploded.

Floaters Suck!

Loved the Video! Santa is Busted!


Woozie said...

There is a difference between crap rap and rap; rap can be good, but crap rap is the overwhelming majority of what is being pumped out today.

No, everybody does not get floaters. Those things are gross.

Margaret said...

Oh come on Woozie, you'll have to do a Great Lebowski sometime.

Experiencing the Floaters sometimes rocks. The colors man, the shapes - heck one time I had that Sesame Street Typewriter and the whole alphabet chasing me through the house.

Sudiegirl said...

I have LOTS of floaters.

That's one of the fun things about being as nearsighted as I am. Lots of floaters.

Sometimes I just concentrate on the floaters and people think I actually give a shit about what they're saying.

Carlos said...

Shelley: That video never ceases to crack me up!

Margie: Drink floaters are nasty, especially the ones you see at the end of your drink!

Nay: I did….and you emailed it back. Umm… ;-)

Gator: When I was a kid we used to go to a pool and people would leave those kinds of floaters….in the pool.

Nigel: Somehow that doesn’t surprise me ;-)

FlyinFox: A fart, a sneeze and a burp all at the same time would be the shit!

Woozie: You’re right. Most rap is shit. It ain’t music, and there is absolutely no artistic value in the lyrics. See rap “artist” live, and chances are the performance will be nothing more than a bunch of yelling shit.

Sudie: Lucky! I only get ‘em occasionally. I love that you use them to your advantage!!!

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Carlos!!! Girls don't burp!