Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Wednesday

Smoke This
I read an AP article yesterday with the headline “Cops: More Smoke Toad Venom to Get High.” While I was a bit confounded as to what would possess someone to extract venom from a toad and then smoke it. What was that first person smoking to make them look at a toad and say, “Dude. We so have to smoke some of that shit.”?

Imagine my horror when I read the story and saw that toad smoking evolved out of toad licking. That’s right kids – Some sick fuck looked at a toad and said, “Dude….” You know the rest.

I thought I’d heard everything until I got to the part in the story that discussed the possibility that some people get their buzz by sniffing fermented human waste – Not just feces, but feces and urine. The concoction is called Jenkem or Butt Hash, and boy does it sound scrumptious. Read about it here.

Program This
It’s A-B-Celine Dion week on ABC. Has our society really devolved to this? Is this a cruel hoax?

Celine Dion is one of the most overrated singers of all time. Don’t get me wrong, she can sing. I mean, she’s not tone deaf, and she hits her notes perfectly. My beef is twofold:

1 – Her material and performances are mediocre at best
2 – Her voice is just about the most plain-vanilla voice I’ve ever heard

She's a glorified, over-hyped lounge singer. I’ll give her one thing - She comes from a good lineage of performers.

12 comments:

reneeg255 said...

Thanks for the morning read, I am now educated in "Butt Hash". It was difficult reading the Making Jenkem, and Health issues.

Is that what you were doing in the bathroom with your cell phone?;)

I also think Celine is overrated.
LOL, I see the family resemblance.LOL

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Between my boys, Dr. Chip and Blublood, I think I have had all the potty humor I can muster. Seems to be going around that people want to talk about that particular part of their anatomy...

Flyinfox_SATX

Woozie said...

Barbra Streisand is way overrated too. How anyone thinks singing through your nose is beautiful is beyond me.

Margaret said...

Dion, man she's Titanic ain't she?

The_Gator said...

i still find it hard to believe a GROWN ASS MAN dropped his phone into the toilet. I would expect that from a young kid who doesnt have to pay for her own phone...but not a grown ass man.

Phones are for talking on...not swimming with.

Carlos said...

Nay: I kind felt educated myself. Next time the topic of Butt Hash comes up during a business luncheon I’ll be better prepared to discuss the social and medical issues. Yuck on the what I was doing in the bathroom (dork). ;-)

FlyinFox: Hmmm….I hadn’t noticed a trend.

Woozie: Indeed. In high school I knew a chick who loved Barbara Streisand. I couldn’t stand her music. Celine and Barb are the same caliber of performer.

Margie: A titanic bore ;-)

Gator: I find it hard to believe that a mature young-ASS man and educator of the future of our country carries gnome lawn ornaments around with him on vacation, positioning them in various poses for public photographic opportunities. Or are they action figures? Maybe they’re some new twisted inflatable love dolls, with Kung Fu grip and, of course, vibrating orifices ;-)

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

I'm with you. Where would they even come up with the idea of smoking toad venom. Oh and the bit about getting high from huffing human waste, priceless! I don't get it. Good job posting BTW. I can't say that for some of us. HINT!

Sheila said...

Butt Hash? I think this is a strong point to validate the legalization of Mary Jane. Just my opinion. What the hell would make any person want to sniff feces and urine? Thank God I don't understand it.

reneeg255 said...

Knock, knock? You getting high on butt hash ;)

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

Mmmmm. Toad venom. Don't bogart that wart!

Webmiztris said...

I'm a hardcore partier, but even I have to draw the line at inhaling piss and shit!

Jujee said...

I beg to differ...Celine Dion is a great performer and singer. Unfortunately she's been fed some boring songs.
And why did she have to do that plastic stuff to her face?