Thursday, January 17, 2008

There Is a God

So this cunt, we’ll call her Janet Orlando (oh, wait – that’s her real name. My bad!), goes to work for a company. She goes to a company-sponsored “camaraderie-building” exercise. Once there, she allows the dunce putting on the seminar (or whatever the fuck you call it) to spank her in front of her co-workers. She allowed it. Got that part? Okay. Good.

Then the cerebrally challenged twat decides she was humiliated (ya think?), so she sues the company and wins a $1,500,000 lawsuit. That was in 2006. (The jurors must all die).

Fortunately, an appeals court saw the daft cretin for what she was, and overturned the award. Of course, her attorney vows to take it to court again.

Regardless of whether the seminar was appropriate, who in the fuck (less S&M fans) would allow someone to fucking spank them in front of a bunch of co-workers? Doesn’t that sound like something you really oughtn’t do? It sure does to me.

The company, Alarm One Inc., went out of business; legal fees, you see.

Note to self, Janet: Slay thyself.

Story

Weekend
Four Day WeekendI’m off Monday, and I’ll be damned if I’m not taking off Tuesday. Why? Because I bloody well want to, that’s why.

Do I have anything planned for my four-day weekend? Not just yet. Shelley wants me to go to lunch with her and her sister (in from out of town) on Monday. We’ll see. I may just lie on my ass all day and stare at the ceiling.

School
I spent about two hours doing accounting home work tonight. Just what the doctor ordered. Not! It sucked. I should’ve done this school thing a long time ago. I squandered so many opportunities. Oh well. I suppose that’s why God invented whisky.

Quote of the Day
"My job is a job to make decisions. I'm a decision—if the job description were, what do you do—it's decision maker." — George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

14 comments:

Flyinfox_SATX said...

The Sad part of that ordeal is that there aren't any pictures of the act on the Internet...Doesn't any one carry a Cameraphone? I would have had some serious blog posts on that story.

Have a great couple of days off.

Flyinfox_SATX

The_Gator said...

hahaha two hours...how easy. I took an astronomy class a couple of years ago...wait...during hurricane rita and katrina...anyways..and the homework for the class was to answer 10 questions. I would spend ALL DAY until my class at 6 PM doing the work.

Carlos said...

FlyinFox: God, a video would've been rich!

Gator: Astronomy...sounds interesting, but I've made a mental note not to take it after hearing that! What I didn't mention was that those two hours were but the tip of the iceberg. Fortunately these problems aren't as tough as that damned Logic class I took, where a three question quiz would take a full 90 minutes to complete. I'm ready to hit the lottery bro!

joker said...

Slay yourself Janet!!!

I like your blog. I think it is cool... the contents are interesting in my opinion. I have bookmarked your blog, keep it up!

Do drop by my blog and have a look.

http://1jokeaday.blogspot.com

Woozie said...

Well I wouldn't do the spanking thing, but I don't think I'd mind doing some...other activities in front of a crowd.

reneeg255 said...

I think Janet was suppose to win the lottery but didn't play so that was her lottery winnings ;)



I'm pretty certain if I was in the court room it would have been hard to contain the laughter when she took the witness stand.

I hated my accounting class, matter of fact I hate school. ;)

And note to Carlos: If you want to win the lottery just go to a team building powwow and pull your pants down for a spanking. ;) Or put a cup of hot McDonald's coffee between your legs...


Have yours self a groovy long weekend!!!

Shelley said...

This lady was expected to go to this seminar thingy, she did. I agree with you, though. There was nothing saying she HAD to get spanked. I think that she thought it was all part of the game until everyone at work started talking (and laughing) about it when she got back. What a dorky thing to do to begin with. BTW, dude. You should be nice and not call her names. Calling someone names is very mean. You can say she did a shitty thing, acted like a cunt, behaved like a twat; but don't call her names. Got that?

Speed Connect Four is just waiting for you. You ready to die?

Love you for being such a nice guy & helping me with the computer. Thanks. :o)

Carlos said...

Joker: Thanks. I hope your blog isn’t a spam site. I’ll check it later.

Woozie: Like making sammiches?

Nay: I’m with you. I’d like to imagine myself standing up in the jurors’ box and saying something like, “Are you fucking kidding me?” We’re taking the mother-in-law out to lunch today. I might just wash my hands in salsa, go take a leak, and then drop to the floor, writhing in pain…that might get me a couple of dollars. Hot coffee…hot salsa…what’s the diff? ;-)

Shelley: I thought about my disparaging remarks after posting them, but by then I was shutting down the computer and fixin’ to meet you for coffee before work. Going back and changing it now wouldn’t do anything for my literary integrity (Pfft!). As for Connect Four – One day I’m gon’ git you sucka!

Woozie said...

No, I have bitches to do that for me.

Carlos said...

Sweeeet.

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Me thinks that Janet Orlando is pissed, because when they spanked her in front of her co-workers, they missed her ass and hit her face. They didn't just spank her - they beat her with an ugly stick.
She's the type of woman that'll consent to sex, and then file a rape report when the guy doesn't call her the next day. RUN AWAY!

Carlos said...

You're prolly right!

Shelley said...

Bunny ~n~ Early - I don't think she got beat with an ugly stick. She is one who fell out of the tree and hit every branch on the way down. Kinda like the Onasis broad - Ari's daughter.

Webmiztris said...

ewww, I feel bad for the guy who put his hand upon her ass. HE deserves money in damages if anything!