Thursday, January 24, 2008


Just when I thought I’d had enough religion shoved down my fucking gullet, a local TV station’s web site puts up a headline on that reads: “Faith-Based Diet Puts God Before Food.”

And it’s in the fucking Health section. Health? Isn’t health science? Isn’t that a bit contradictory? Anyway….

The premise, according to the founder, is “Let God tell you when you're hungry and when to stop eating.” Suckers Followers are implored “to turn their love of food into a love of God and the weight will fall off.”

Jesus had his vices, as you can see by the historical painting on the left. He didn't have any fancy DVDs or Stairmasters, and he was in pretty decent shape back in the day. And the body and shine on that hair! Wow!

This whole thing makes about as much sense as weight loss through belief in Martians. Who the hell buys off on this shit? Prolly the same people who buy this shit.

Shelley’s response when I sent her the article yesterday before breakfast: “God doesn't say I'm fuckin' hungry, but I'm coming for my taco.”

I’m gonna try my own weight-loss program for men: The Ball Peen Plan. Every time you’re hungry, pull down your pants and whack yourself in the nuts with a ball peen hammer. That’ll take your mind off that fucking Twinkie, porky!

Still sucks. Accounting sucks. Adjusted Trial Balances are my bane this week. Fuck. Shelley’s gonna tutor me this weekend though (she took the course last quarter). I might even let her kill me at Connect Four.


Sudiegirl said...

Uh - apparently nobody told Jerry Falwell about this diet plan...he wasn't exactly a small little guy.

reneeg255 said...

God hates fatties ;), that is the message I am receiving ;)

Anonymous said...

I tried this diet for five minutes and now I'm halfway through my bag of Lays'.

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Early and I spend a lot of time in awe of religion, or should I say ignorance.
WTF are these people thinking? Scratch that - they're not. I read a study somewhere that said Christians are the fattest religion. I didn't have a hard time believing that. It seems to me, Christians most popular form of entertainment is sitting on their ass eating potato chips, and pizza, while making up new laws for everyone to live by.