Friday, February 29, 2008

Doctor Doctor

Anyone who’s had to take time off during the day to visit a doctor knows that most doctors aren’t exactly the most punctual. You show up for a 3:30pm appointment and aren’t seen by the doctor until 4:30pm. There are no explanations or apologies.

Conversely, if you’re the one who’s late (or just don’t make it), you usually have to pay a penalty of some sort.

What makes either experience particularly fulfilling is that the receptionists are usually Grade A cunts.

I think it’d be cool if we started taking doctors to small claims court for not living up to their appointments based on the amount of time you have to take off from work. It doesn’t matter if you make an hourly wage or are on salary – you sue based on how much your time is worth. You could also seek punitive damages; and pain and suffering.

I might not feel like such a dick if doctors and cunt receptionists were just a little remorseful about being slow – maybe say “I’m sorry” or give me something to make me smile – like a free, ice cold beverage if my appointment gets running late…or an ice cream or a corn dog or something.

Cop’s Worst Nightmare
This photo is a little disturbing, but something everyone should see. It puts everything the brave men and women of law enforcement do for us into perspective.

Liberal or Conservative?
- When I go to a restaurant, I want a liberal helping of food.

- On the occasions I’ve been to strip clubs over the years, I’ve never hoped for a conservative stripper.

- If I ever had the misfortune to be in court for something, I’d much rather have a liberal (read broadminded) judge presiding.

- Merriam Webster defines liberalism as “a political philosophy based on belief in progress, the essential goodness of the human race, and the autonomy of the individual and standing for the protection of political and civil liberties.”

- MW defines conservatism as “a political philosophy based on tradition and social stability, stressing established institutions, and preferring gradual development to abrupt change; specifically: such a philosophy calling for lower taxes, limited government regulation of business and investing, a strong national defense, and individual financial responsibility for personal needs (as retirement income or health-care coverage).”

Jack Handey
Did you know he was from San Antonio, Texas? Either did I.

Quote of the Day
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. -- Jack Handey


Woozie said...

Bah, Merriam-Webster! Dictionaries have a well-known liberal bias.

jules said...

Okay, the photo was sick. But I laughed. The people in the library are looking at me strangely.

Carlos said...

Woozie: Damned dictionarites!

Jules: Where the fuck have you been?!