Monday, June 16, 2008


Tomorrow I'm headed for cooler climes on a two-day biz trip. I’ll be back Friday afternoon. In the meantime, and in case I don’t post between now and then, here are some pictures I took of actual products on actual shelves of actual retail stores right here in Alamo Land.

Crack Creme
Skin treatment or cosmetic foundation for low-pants-wearin’ motherfuckers?

Hollywood Cookie Diet
Jesus. What’s next, the Tuscaloosa Fried Chicken Diet? The Mexican Pork Fat diet?

Canned Chicken
What the fuck does one do with a whole, canned chicken, and what are the advantages of using one? Until my son pointed a can out to me a few months ago, I'd never heard of such a thing!

Birth control Pill Case
Just funny because it's got an alarm. I suppose that's not an unreasonable feature to have on a birth control pill case, but if I were a woman, I'd like to think taking BCPs would be something I'd remember.

Krugman's Little Krugy
Shelley and I saw this at a local liquor store a couple of months ago. The container the drink came in was, as you might figure, shaped like a little spermy. I wonder if "Krugy Bongs" are big at gay bars.

Ear Lift
Wow! With real pictures like that, how could one NOT buy this product!?

Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding
Huh? Somehow the words “dick” and “pudding” don’t elicit any hunger pangs.

Random Graphic du Jour

Quote of the Day

"Oftentimes people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?' " – George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008


Anonymous said...

I just don't know? Carlos your mind more, or less noticed these products, but then I wonder. Maybe like using the crack creme; The manager is smokin' his crack rock.

I never noticed it in Austin at all, but they have a whole section of bulk "smooth curl", or "easy curl" products here. Literally it takes up around 10 square feet. I was also, very shocked because it was spendy

Woozie said...

That "American Holocaust" shit they spout makes me want to find a Hasidic Jew to kick them in the nuts/punch them in the uterus. And possibly steal their wallet.

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Shopping in Alamo Land is an experience, I will tell ya. The first time I heard of Monkey Bread was hear. I remember asking my daughter if after you had baked it, do you throw it like poo?

I absolutley loved the last pic!


Margaret said...

OMG!! I knew Heinz had 57 varieties and I knew I couldn't name them all but the Dick sponge pudding has me really flipped!!

Great post and have a safe trip and return home. -M

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

Canned chicken? A whole chicken in a can? WTF is that? I've never seen one before, and I'm a supermarket habitue par excellence...

reneeg255 said...

Dicks Sponge Pudding looks nasty!!! I wonder how much they sell to even stock it?


Love to you dear!!!

American Hill BIlly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I've had a stressful day waiting for you. I am now relaxing on 80mg of over the counter valume

Juan Do

The god damn valume made me forget to be Juan, Whoops I think I removed everything

Anonymous said...

Loved the pro life pic.
I'm still trying to figure out the crack cream. What will they think of next?