Sunday, February 22, 2009

I Found Jesus...

…He was in my trunk when I got back from Nuevo Laredo!

I’ll be going out of town on biz tomorrow and you know what that means! Another exciting, edge-of-your-seat edition of
“Where’s Carlos?” Those of you who know where I'm going, shouldn't ruin my remaining three readers' fun by telling.

Until my first Where's Carlos post, here’s some bullshit to keep you occupied for a minute or two.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed

I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it

Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

In just forty eight hours
tomorrow will be yesterday.

I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect

Dyslexics Have More Nuf

I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!


TC said...

Once again, those are pretty funny.

I'm looking forward to the "Where's Carlos?" post!

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff dear!!!

Waiting on the "Where is Carlos" too ;)

I may have internet to even play.


Anonymous said...

Where is Carlos ;)


Arlene said...

Yay, I don't think I've read "Where's Carlos" yet!! Can't wait!!

Your jokes cracked me up! And on Utah: I was in their airport, on a layover, at the asscrack of dawn, and COULD NOT FIND COFFEE to save my damn life! Seriously, I finally found it, and it was a tiny little shop HIDDEN. I think they were trying to keep the Mormons from finding out it was there ;-)

Anonymous said...

I finally know the answer to Where's Carlos and I'm not allowed to play???
Dude - That is just shitty!

Miz Hairy Pitz

Anonymous said...


I hope wherever Carlos is he wasn't abducted and anal probed by gay dolphins or anything for that matter.

Carlos, where are you? Getting a colon massage? :)

Nay, waiting to play "Where's Carlos" while I have Internet, even in the rain for the most part.

Hope all is groovy?

Love to you my dear homo friend ;)from your carpet munching buddy, LOL.

I put a much needed smile on my herpes infested face, now it cracked and is pussing, FUCK MAN, GET THE GAME GOING!!! I can only entertain myself for so long before I get bored.