Sunday, December 06, 2009

Things That Piss Me Off (Lately)

Dumbing Down
- Back in the months following the September 11th attacks on the WTC, anthrax was all the rage. For the first few days of furious coverage, they referred to a particular form of anthrax properly – as subcutaneous anthrax. Then someone somewhere decided the Amurcan public was too fucking stupid to a) know what that meant; and b) Use a dictionary. So they started referring to it as under-the-skin anthrax.
- Commercials lately have stopped using the word “antacid.” They now use the term “acid reducer.”
- Kyra Phillips, of CNN, was reading some dude’s quote and changed the word he used (abhor) to despise. WTF?

- Have you ever clicked one of the links in the list of search results on Google, only to be taken to the results of a search for the same word on another web site’s search engine? Yesterday I was looking for something on Google. I typed the word in the appropriate field and clicked on SEARCH. I then clicked on a link a few lines down and was taken to a site where I was presented with “I’m sorry, your search did not find any results. Please try again.” WTF?!
- Buckling to pressure and changing the results of search queries based on whining and politics.

Joe Buck
- This sports commentator is the epitome of mediocrity. I hate listening to the guy. He blathers on non-stop, as if only to hear himself talk. What this dunce needs to realize is that much of a football or baseball game can speak for itself. I don’t need to hear the forced (and lame) humor, and talk about shit no one fucking cares about. Joe needs to realize there’s a time to talk and a time to shut the fuck up. He also needs to go back to school in a remedial grammar class.

San Antonio Drivers
Perhaps the worst I’ve ever encountered:
- Don’t know how to use blinkers.
- Drive around with their emergency flashers on for no apparent reason. WTF is up with this? I’ve never seen it as much as I have here.
- Drive side-by-side on a two-lane highway under the speed limit, while the line of cars builds up behind them. Without a care in the world.
- Can’t drive in anything other than perfect weather – except for a few dumbasses who are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum, and drive 30MPH over the limit in a sleet storm.
- People completely oblivious to their surroundings.

Microsoft Word 2003/2007
- After every update, you go back to the Reading Layout View, which sucks. Seriously – does anyone leave it at this default?
- Ditto for “auto-format as you type.” Why do I need someone to tell me when I want automatically bulleted lists. Take this blog post, for example. I had to turn off auto-format to get it not to bulletize and indent!
- (2007 only) When I press ENTER in my keyboard, I want to go to the next fucking line, not two lines below!

- They really need to improve how images are uploaded and organized in a post. It sucks.
- Ditto for the space they give you to type and edit a blog post – it sucks.

Vibrant In-Text Ads (and their ilk)
- You see web pages with words that have colored lines below them (dotted, single, double, etc). You simply slide your cursor over the top of the word as you aim for a link, and a fucking ad pops up. Is there any way to turn off that shit?

And finally – My job
- It’s just too much work for too few people, and it sucks. I was supposed to move to a different (better) section, but that’s been postponed due to budget and other staffing issues. Bastards.



Joker_SATX said...

I see this on a constant basis. What's worse, even in the way kids speak. I am currently trying to have my kids stop using the phrase, "Guess What?" They use it for every sentence...It drives me nuts...and I attribute it to the Dumbing Down era we are facing.

Rimpy said...

Carlos: When I was an interstate trucker, I was always amazed at the antics of Texas drivers in general. No offense to your adopted state or Texans as a people, but there just seemed to be something very wrong in the driver education system there.

Joker: Whenever anyone in my family says, "Guess what", I respond with "Chicken butt". It really seems to help curtail that habit.

TC said...

Rant away! :)

I always feel better after posting one.

Shelley said...

Carlos - you need to get in a better mood...want a drink? What do you need? I'll get it, I promise.

Rimpy - Know why? Chicken thigh. My daugher and I used to say this crap all the time. There are a lot of chicken parts. :o) I even got a birthday card with "Know what?" on the outside and, yes, on the inside it says "Chicken butt." I had seen it earlier and bought it for her is in a drawer waiting. She beat me to it.