Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year, New Me?

I never did New Year resolutions before because I always thought they were stupid. I mean, why the hell should I set a specific date to decide to do (or stop doing) stuff?

This year I decided to break with my tradition of non-resolution. This year I think I have some good things to resolve to do, most of them health related. And this year I have a few blogger friends who might keep me honest :-)

And here, in no specific order, they are:
1. Lower my cholesterol. I’ve been pretty good about taking my medicine, but I need to be better. I should have the results of last week’s blood test by the end of the week.
2. Lower my blood pressure. It was 148/90 last week when I went to the Dr., and that just ain’t good.
3. Lose some freakin’ weight! I don’t expect to be the 165lb youngster I was when I was in my 20s, but I could definitely stand to lose, at a minimum, the weight I’ve gained since I retired from the service. I was maybe a little too joyous about not having to work out, run and eat sensibly. I’ve really put on a lot in the last two years and 8 months since retiring. Give or take 3 or 4 lbs, I’ve gained 35lbs!!! Can you believe that shit? That’s embarrassing. Ten of that has been since I quit smoking in September. The only thing I’ve got going for me is that I carry my weight very well.
4. Not let the little shit get to me. I’m pretty good at handling the big crises, but little things (and I mean little) really get me pissed off, irritated, or whatever.
5. Do my best to continue to enjoy and appreciate my friends and family every day as if it were their (or my) last day on earth.
6. Invest my money wisely for the future.7. Persevere to keep my promise to my mom that I won’t be sad because she’s gone. I try, but it’s still hard.

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Is it just me or has the college bowl game been cheapened to the point of no return? When I think of bowl games, I think of real bowl games: The Rose Bowl, Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Cotton Bowl, Peach Bowl and the Gator Bowl. I even kind of feel a little nostalgic about the Fiesta Bowl despite having had misgivings about it when it was first “invented” in 1971.

One day, someone discovered there was more money to be had in college bowl games. So, “they” invented some new bowls. Still, there was more money to be had, so “they” recruited corporate sponsors, and bowls such as the Fiesta Bowl became the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl.

The other day, while watching ESPN, I realized there are bowls that have no significance, other than corporate. The bowl that brought me that realization was the Meineke Car Care Bowl.

You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. The Meineke Car Care Bowl? Do ya think the North Carolina State and University of South Florida football players are bursting with pride over playing at such a prestigious bowl? “Hey grandma, I’m gonna be playing in a college bowl game!” “Oh honey, I’m so proud of you. Which one?” “The Meineke Car Care Bowl!!” “Loser.”

Here are some other, strictly corporate bowl games:
GMAC Bowl
Champs Sports Bowl
Insight Bowl
MPC Computers Bowl
Emerald (as in nuts) Bowl
Outback Bowl
Capital One Bowl

And, sadly, most of the oldsters have been forever tarnished:
The Orange Bowl is now the FedEx Orange Bowl
The Sugar Bowl is now the Nokia Sugar Bowl
The Cotton Bowl is now the AT&T Cotton Bowl
The Peach Bowl is now the Chick fil-A Peach Bowl
The Gator Bowl is now the Toyota Gator Bowl

The only bowl game not to be soiled by corporate sponsorship is the Rose
Bowl.


I’m not holding out hope on the Rose Bowl though. I imagine one day it’ll acquire its own corporate sponsorship and be dubbed something like:
“The KY Jelly Rose Bowl”
“The I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Rose Bowl”
“The Vagisil Rose Bowl”
or
“The Flower Bowl” (Because some politically correct, mamby-pamby crybaby complained that roses were receiving preferential treatment and unwarranted/undeserved attention)

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I’m anxiously awaiting the identification, prosecution, and demise of corrupt politicians fingered by crooks Michael Scanlon and Jack Abramoff.

Fuck ‘em all.

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Quote of the Day:
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something. --Jack Handey

8 comments:

Ivy the Goober said...

I've gained way more weight than you, Carlos. And I'm not carrying it well at all. I don't want to try to get super thin anymore (it doesn't even seem possible) but just quit hefting around all these extra pounds.

Liked your comments about the Rose Bowl. I think it was the Pansy that complained.

jules said...

Happy New Year Carlos....good luck with the "resolutions".

Whistler71 said...

Carlos good luck with the resolutions, I have a few of my own, one to get rid of my fat ass! Sounds like you are feeling better!!

reneegrrrrrrrr said...

Lets keep each other honest!!! Maybe we could post weekly what we did to achieve our goals of trimming the excess weight.

Your Rose Bowl comments cracked me up too. Ivy is accusing the Pansy for complaining so I say we kick their pansy ass ;). That would be a good start to some physical activity, seeking out the pansy and stomping on them.

The MPC Computer Bowl started out as the Humanitarian Bowl. It is pretty new; it started the first year I moved here, in 1997.

I think for the oldsters the lamest is the Chick Fil A Peach Bowl.

I wish a toilet manufacture would sponsor one and just name the bowl, "Toilet Bowl".

I love you buddy and am so happy were in touch!!! I think this blog thing has been a great way of hanging out and getting close and all thanks to DG and Madman.

Carlos said...

Ivy: I’m with ya. Although I’d like to be in good shape like I was once upon a time, I’m not sure I have what it takes to work myself to death to get that way. I’m going to shed some though for sure. Oh, and those pansies better watch out ;-)

Jules: Same to you Jules. And thanks!

Whistler: Much grass, much grass. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little ass, so don’t work too hard! Like Garrett Morris (an original SNLer) said in a sketch back in the early 70s, “I like a woman with an ass I can grab hold of and beat with a car antenna.” (I love that fuckin’ line) So don’t go bulimic or Heidi Klum on us  I’m feeling much better…still congested and a little groggy, but better.

Nay: Yes, Let’s keep ourselves honest. I just weighed myself and set the baseline. I’ll weigh myself every day and let ya know how many lbs up or down I’ve gone, and what I did on my new stationary bike (X-Mas present). I’m gonna start out slow, but really watch what I’m eating. Watching the food is the hard part. I love cooking and I love eating. And to think I once entertained being a chef. I’d be a 400 pounder for sure! Loved the “pansy ass” line. But I’ll have to insist that we pimp slap or bitch slap their pansy asses. ;-) Gotta keep your skills honed! The Toilet Bowl…I like it! How about a head shop sponsors one and they call it the One Hit Bowl? I agree about the Blog thing. It is a great way to hang out and keep in touch. Thanks for getting me started.

Webmiztris said...

I've gained weight since I quit smoking too. I just never feel full! it SUX!!!!

We sing we dance we steal things said...

I believe in spoiling ones self and sharing with our friends. You need to make one more resolution, and that's to do what you need to do, so that you can hang with us and spoil yourself a few times a year without feeling guilty, cause your da bomb!

rlb3773 said...

Tortilla soup recipe :)