Can't We All Talk About Something Else?
At the request of RobinBaby, I’m going to move on to another subject. The topic of the previous post was apparently a little too grody for her. ;-) Grody indeed, but who said fighting the war on boogerterrorists would be an easy job?
I plan to wage war against these terrorists, striking them on their turf (the public restroom), before they strike us at home. If we don’t fight the boogerwar ”over there, we’ll be fighting it in our own back yard (i.e. our bathrooms at home). Stay tuned.
Sorry ~Y~, that’s about as political as I’m going to get today :-( I’m sure my opinion generator will get the best of me again and I’ll post some political stuff, but I just don’t feel it today.
Now, on to Something Else.
++++++++++
Keeping on track with my luck, I had an encounter with one of our fine country’s many idiots on Thursday. This one was nice enough, but I couldn’t help myself. Here’s a snapshot of the dialogue:
---Thank you for calling_____. This is Bob.
---Hi Bob, This is Carlos. I’m calling to confirm a job.
---Okay. Let me have your home phone.
---Fee-fie-fo. Fee-fie-fo-fo (actually that’s Mike Tyson’s phone number)
---Hold on.
(On hold for about 5 minutes)
---Hello, is someone helping you?
---Yeah, I was holding for Bob
---This is Bob how can I help you.
---This is Carlos. You were checking on something for me.
---What was I checking?
(Pause for effect)
(Exhale for effect)
---(Spoken slowly) Okay. I had a job scheduled with you guys. You were supposed to come out and move some refrigerators. I was calling to confirm the time.
---Oh. So it’s not a delivery.
---No.
---Uhhhh.....Hold on.
---Okay.
(Five more minutes)
(Click. I hang up & call back)
---Thank you for calling...... This is Bob.
---Bob. This is Carlos again. You had me on hold.
---Okay.
---Let try again. I’ll keep it simple so you’ll understand. A contractor we hired to do some work around the house screwed up the refrigerator and had to buy me a new one. You got it so far?
---Uh huh.
---You guys delivered the new fridge last week, but couldn’t hook it up because that same contractor screwed up the installation of the cutoff valve that supplies water to the fridge. The delivery guys left the new guys in the garage. You still following me?
---Yes sir.
---If you look in your system, you’ll see that the work order submitted for my job says you guys are supposed to come back to disconnect the installed fridge and move it into the garage; then you’ll take the new fridge, which is sitting in the garage, and move it into the space left by the fridge you just took out. You’ll then connect the water, make sure it all works, and be on your way. Does all that make sense?
---Yes sir.
---Here’s the short version for ya, just in case: Fridge in the kitchen goes in the garage. Fridge in the garage goes in the kitchen. Simple enough right?
---Yes sir.
---Okay I want to schedule the appointment for as late in the afternoon on Friday as possible.
---I’m sorry sir but we can’t do that.
---Oh really now? And why’s that?
---We’re in New Braunfels and we schedule our work from the farthest point away and work back to New Braunfels.
---So there’s no way you can make this happen?
---No sir.
---Swell. Okay then…let’s schedule the job for Saturday. Can we do it as early as possible?
---We don’t do Saturday’s scheduling until Friday sir.
---I’ll call you Friday Bob.
---Yes sir.
---Thanks.
(click)
I called again yesterday:
---Thank you for calling ____ This is Nick. Can I help you.
---Yeah Nick. I was talking to Bob yesterday. I’m calling to find out the status of a job.
(I gave him the brief rundown)
---Okay. Let me get Dave to help you. Can you hold please?
---Right.
(On hold for a couple of minutes)
---Hello, is someone helping you?
---Yeah Nick, you can. I was holding for Dave.
---Dave’s busy right now.
---You put me on hold five minutes ago to have Dave look into my job status.
---Oh. Hang on. Here he is.
I’ll spare you the rest.
Talk about an incompetent bunch of simpletons fucks.
++++++++++
Memory Du Jour:
Easter day, 1968 or 1969, Escondido, CA at grandma’s house.
I was 6 or 7. My sister and I woke up to find Easter baskets full of goodies at our bedroom door. We reveled over the chocolates and miniature stuffed chicks and bunnies and other stuff. We spent the rest of the morning coloring Easter eggs. Sometime later in the day, we hit the road for a short trip to Tijuana, (it ain’t pronounced tee-uh-wahnna, it’s teewahnna) Mexico. When Mom, grandma, grandpa, sister and I hit the border checkpoint, the Mexican border guards saw us two kids admiring and eating our beautiful Easter eggs. I don’t remember what was said (I didn’t speak Spanish at the time), but I do remember my mom had a rather enthusiastic discussion with the guard before we had to hand our eggs over to the Federales. We cried. Mom was furious.
++++++++++
Quote of the Day:
“I’m gonna make the nice Super Bowl that everyone was talking about into the hate Super Bowl.” –Joey Porter, Pittsburgh Steelers, 02 February, 2006
I plan to wage war against these terrorists, striking them on their turf (the public restroom), before they strike us at home. If we don’t fight the boogerwar ”over there, we’ll be fighting it in our own back yard (i.e. our bathrooms at home). Stay tuned.
Sorry ~Y~, that’s about as political as I’m going to get today :-( I’m sure my opinion generator will get the best of me again and I’ll post some political stuff, but I just don’t feel it today.
Now, on to Something Else.
++++++++++
Keeping on track with my luck, I had an encounter with one of our fine country’s many idiots on Thursday. This one was nice enough, but I couldn’t help myself. Here’s a snapshot of the dialogue:
---Thank you for calling_____. This is Bob.
---Hi Bob, This is Carlos. I’m calling to confirm a job.
---Okay. Let me have your home phone.
---Fee-fie-fo. Fee-fie-fo-fo (actually that’s Mike Tyson’s phone number)
---Hold on.
(On hold for about 5 minutes)
---Hello, is someone helping you?
---Yeah, I was holding for Bob
---This is Bob how can I help you.
---This is Carlos. You were checking on something for me.
---What was I checking?
(Pause for effect)
(Exhale for effect)
---(Spoken slowly) Okay. I had a job scheduled with you guys. You were supposed to come out and move some refrigerators. I was calling to confirm the time.
---Oh. So it’s not a delivery.
---No.
---Uhhhh.....Hold on.
---Okay.
(Five more minutes)
(Click. I hang up & call back)
---Thank you for calling...... This is Bob.
---Bob. This is Carlos again. You had me on hold.
---Okay.
---Let try again. I’ll keep it simple so you’ll understand. A contractor we hired to do some work around the house screwed up the refrigerator and had to buy me a new one. You got it so far?
---Uh huh.
---You guys delivered the new fridge last week, but couldn’t hook it up because that same contractor screwed up the installation of the cutoff valve that supplies water to the fridge. The delivery guys left the new guys in the garage. You still following me?
---Yes sir.
---If you look in your system, you’ll see that the work order submitted for my job says you guys are supposed to come back to disconnect the installed fridge and move it into the garage; then you’ll take the new fridge, which is sitting in the garage, and move it into the space left by the fridge you just took out. You’ll then connect the water, make sure it all works, and be on your way. Does all that make sense?
---Yes sir.
---Here’s the short version for ya, just in case: Fridge in the kitchen goes in the garage. Fridge in the garage goes in the kitchen. Simple enough right?
---Yes sir.
---Okay I want to schedule the appointment for as late in the afternoon on Friday as possible.
---I’m sorry sir but we can’t do that.
---Oh really now? And why’s that?
---We’re in New Braunfels and we schedule our work from the farthest point away and work back to New Braunfels.
---So there’s no way you can make this happen?
---No sir.
---Swell. Okay then…let’s schedule the job for Saturday. Can we do it as early as possible?
---We don’t do Saturday’s scheduling until Friday sir.
---I’ll call you Friday Bob.
---Yes sir.
---Thanks.
(click)
I called again yesterday:
---Thank you for calling ____ This is Nick. Can I help you.
---Yeah Nick. I was talking to Bob yesterday. I’m calling to find out the status of a job.
(I gave him the brief rundown)
---Okay. Let me get Dave to help you. Can you hold please?
---Right.
(On hold for a couple of minutes)
---Hello, is someone helping you?
---Yeah Nick, you can. I was holding for Dave.
---Dave’s busy right now.
---You put me on hold five minutes ago to have Dave look into my job status.
---Oh. Hang on. Here he is.
I’ll spare you the rest.
Talk about an incompetent bunch of simpletons fucks.
++++++++++
Memory Du Jour:
Easter day, 1968 or 1969, Escondido, CA at grandma’s house.
I was 6 or 7. My sister and I woke up to find Easter baskets full of goodies at our bedroom door. We reveled over the chocolates and miniature stuffed chicks and bunnies and other stuff. We spent the rest of the morning coloring Easter eggs. Sometime later in the day, we hit the road for a short trip to Tijuana, (it ain’t pronounced tee-uh-wahnna, it’s teewahnna) Mexico. When Mom, grandma, grandpa, sister and I hit the border checkpoint, the Mexican border guards saw us two kids admiring and eating our beautiful Easter eggs. I don’t remember what was said (I didn’t speak Spanish at the time), but I do remember my mom had a rather enthusiastic discussion with the guard before we had to hand our eggs over to the Federales. We cried. Mom was furious.
++++++++++
Quote of the Day:
“I’m gonna make the nice Super Bowl that everyone was talking about into the hate Super Bowl.” –Joey Porter, Pittsburgh Steelers, 02 February, 2006
CJ Note: I typed this quote while watching NBC News yesterday morning, so it may be a word or two off, but he did say the SB was going to be one of hate. Joey Porter is just another millionaire punk professional athlete with a big mouth. Shut the fuck up and play football dumbass.
7 comments:
They took your Easter eggs??? :(
Those bass turds!
Well, that clears everything up. I have spoke with all 3, many times myself. Bob Nick & Dave are so stupid because they are very overworked. They work at several different places, like credit card company's, teck support & so on. Glad we figured that one out...
So, you wanna call me a baby. Now, you are in the dog cage. You were warned this was going to happen.
ugh, those phone calls gave *me* a headache!! people just don't care. and they're stupid too, which doesn't help....lol
Priceless dialogue with Bob, Nick, and Dave. Almost sounded as bad as dealing with government employees in MA, only you'd be on hold for a lot longer, and you probably wouldn't understand a word of what the person at the other end of the phone was saying. It might even be in spanish.
CJ this is how I learned to be an ashole to people on the phone, a few calls just like this. I learned to say, Better Business Bureau, CEO of company and in some instances, fire marshall!!!
HI,looks like Cj is MIA too
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