It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy
(7:24pm Updated for links & photos)
Why are those cheese crackers (the ones in the convenient 9-pack) colored orange? Does the color indicate the amount of cheese in the cracker? If not, does the color make the eater think it’s cheesier?
Same with regular Cheetos. As far as I know, they’re not that color because of the .5% of cheese that’s in the product.
And Flaming Cheetos. Are they red because of the spicy ingredients? Are they flaming because of the "Homosexual Agenda" the Christian Right is vigorously fighting? If you buy off on the Homosexual Agenda thing, does the Christian Right think I’m gay or bi or otherwised manlove-inclined because I like Flaming Cheetos?
My point is: Why the hell is food colored like that? Has marketing research proven that people are really so stupid that they can’t read; or that they’re so unbelieving they need artificial colors to affirm the fact that cheese crackers are supposed to taste like cheese (even if they don’t have much in them)?
Here’s an article I Googled just a second ago for the hell of it. Kinda ruins my fun thinking of six-figure-salaried wieners sitting in a secret marketing think tank deciding how stupid we consumers are. Then again....consumers (not me of course) really are suckers and kinda stupid.
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Memory Du Jour:
1983, Port Au Prince, Haiti
Three friends and I took a cab (one we’d hired all day for $10) from Port Au Prince to the Barbancourt Rum Factory in the mountainous rainforest above the city. The driver (Max) and the “muscle” (Jean) were great awesome drivers & guides.
We were talking as the drivers negotiated the windy roads. We rounded one corner and noticed a Haitian military guy standing on the side of the road in uniform, packing an M-1 carbine. We got closer and he leveled the carbine at the car. My friends and I freaked out and hit the deck. Max stepped on the gas.
When we were done trembling like bitches, we popped back up and bitched at Max for not stopping. He said something like, “Oh they won’t shoot, but if we stop, they’ll rob us of everything we have; money, jewelry and clothes.”
And so we continued to the rum factory where we got shitfaced while sampling the 21 varieties of Barbancourt rum.
I bought a few gifts when we were assaulted by vendors on the way out of the rum factory. Among the gifts was a hat for Nay. I’m surprised it survived the long journey back to Arizona, but it did. Ignore the stupid glasses I bought from one of the Haitian vendors. I’m on the right The guy on the left was a friend nicknamed Mango because of the shape of his head.
Same with regular Cheetos. As far as I know, they’re not that color because of the .5% of cheese that’s in the product.
And Flaming Cheetos. Are they red because of the spicy ingredients? Are they flaming because of the "Homosexual Agenda" the Christian Right is vigorously fighting? If you buy off on the Homosexual Agenda thing, does the Christian Right think I’m gay or bi or otherwised manlove-inclined because I like Flaming Cheetos?
My point is: Why the hell is food colored like that? Has marketing research proven that people are really so stupid that they can’t read; or that they’re so unbelieving they need artificial colors to affirm the fact that cheese crackers are supposed to taste like cheese (even if they don’t have much in them)?
Here’s an article I Googled just a second ago for the hell of it. Kinda ruins my fun thinking of six-figure-salaried wieners sitting in a secret marketing think tank deciding how stupid we consumers are. Then again....consumers (not me of course) really are suckers and kinda stupid.
++++++++++
Memory Du Jour:
1983, Port Au Prince, HaitiThree friends and I took a cab (one we’d hired all day for $10) from Port Au Prince to the Barbancourt Rum Factory in the mountainous rainforest above the city. The driver (Max) and the “muscle” (Jean) were great awesome drivers & guides.
We were talking as the drivers negotiated the windy roads. We rounded one corner and noticed a Haitian military guy standing on the side of the road in uniform, packing an M-1 carbine. We got closer and he leveled the carbine at the car. My friends and I freaked out and hit the deck. Max stepped on the gas.
When we were done trembling like bitches, we popped back up and bitched at Max for not stopping. He said something like, “Oh they won’t shoot, but if we stop, they’ll rob us of everything we have; money, jewelry and clothes.”
And so we continued to the rum factory where we got shitfaced while sampling the 21 varieties of Barbancourt rum.
I bought a few gifts when we were assaulted by vendors on the way out of the rum factory. Among the gifts was a hat for Nay. I’m surprised it survived the long journey back to Arizona, but it did. Ignore the stupid glasses I bought from one of the Haitian vendors. I’m on the right The guy on the left was a friend nicknamed Mango because of the shape of his head.Quote of the Day:
"After the bombing, most Iraqis saw what the perpetuators of this attack were trying to do." —George W. Bush, on the bombing of the Golden Mosque of Samarra in Iraq, March 13, 2006, Washington, D.C.
7 comments:
i like that they add the coloring. otherwise if you saw a bowl of cheetos or doritos, you wouldn't know without tasting them if they were the original or extra cheesy or flaming hot! god forbid! the country would be in disarray!
Cj is a flaming cheeto eating fairy ;).
I don't remember getting a hat, are you sure it made it to AZ? And if so I want a description of the hat to jarg my memory.
Oh and should there be a picture to go with this post? In the memory part of the post is sounds as though there should be?
WebMiz: It would be true chaos and anarchy I'm sure :-)
Nay: I'm sure it made it. Not sure you liked it or not. I suck at gifts for girls. Good catch on the picture thing. I wasn't able to upload this morning. I'm going to repost with the pics now.
Well, I throughly disagree with the "color makes food more appealing" theory. I only eat white cheddar cheese popcorn. And everyone knows that the only drink that goes well with white cheddar cheese popcorn, is Sprite of course!
P.S. Love your blog!
I really don't recall getting any hat but you did by me a t-shirt. It was blue tank that had spegetti (sp?) strings that tied. I have a freakishly vivid memory of my clohes that I owned which is alot of clothes. I wish I could purge and that and harbour more valued info. up there.
Boobless: Thank you for stopping by! And thanks. I love white cheddar popcorn; and yes, Sprite is the only beverage acceptable to consume with this delight. Well, 7-Up too, and maybe generic 7-Up-like beverages would do as well.
Nay: To be honest, I don’t remember the actual act of giving the hat to you. But...I am getting on in years now. I do remember the blue shirt though. Mainly because you looked fabulous in it! It was from a gift shop in El Yunque rainforest in Puerto Rico (Talk about a freakishly vivid memory!). I think I still have a picture or two of you in it.
Madman: Excellent observation!
I like the fact that you can now buy Ketchup in green, purple and other colors. Red coffee should be available soon (a hit with the vampires among us). And there are blue balls ... oh wait ... different topic.
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