Saturday, February 10, 2007

Drivin' me Crazy

I’m going to have sprayers added to my car in strategic locations so I can battle dumbass drives (you know who you are) with this.

I am so very, very tired of lame ass drivers. My latest peeve is the dumbass who slows down to 40mph in preparation for the exit ramp that is about 1/8th of a mile up the road. Those of us who are doing the speed limit (65) are forced to slow quickly. The according effect on the rest of the traffic causes a temporary snarl and generally really pisses me off.

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Memory du Jour:
Arizona, 1975 or so
Once upon a time I was young. Back when I was young I did a lot of stupid things.

So this one day, back in my neighbor friend and I get the bright idea to raid his dad’s stash of gunpowder and stuff to make a thingy that booms.

We found ourselves a 16oz aluminum beer can (no problem finding that) and stuffed it full of various types of gun powder….and nails. When it was full, we shoved a twisted up paper towel in it as a fuse. We set our little thingy on a brick wall that was about 5’ tall, lit the paper towel, and hauled ass.

We dove behind a berm and watched the fuse slowly burn down to the can, our eyes and foreheads the only things higher than the top of the berm. The fuse burned into the can, but nothing happened. No boom, no fizzle, no nothing. We waited for 15 or 20 minutes before we moved.

We stood up and walked slowly toward the wall. My friend was a few paces ahead of me and, when he was about five feet from the wall, just starting to reach his hand out to grab the can, the thingy -- she go boom.

There was a big flash with a weak boom. We hit the ground in a split second. My friend stood up holding his face: “My eyes! My eyes!” And me? Fortunately my neighbor friend’s face absorbed most of the force of the blast. ;-)

Actually, because we’d used an aluminum can, not much blast pressure built up in the can. Consequently, the explosion was wimpy, but it still scared the shit out of us. We ended up with powder burns on our faces and bruised egos.

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Photo du Jour:
A series of pictures from a snow storm in the rental house I had in Joisy in the mid 80s.

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Man College (From a friend)

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Visit “PlacesNamed.com” and plug in your name. This is some of what you get:


Carlos is the 3,785th most popular last name in the United States; frequency is 0.003%; percentile is 59.885

Carlos is the 81st most popular male first name in the United States; frequency is 0.229%; percentile is 55.630

Carlos, Texas, United States is in Grimes County; location is 30°35'40"N 96°4'40"W; elevation is 245 feet

Carlos, Indiana, United States is in Randolph County; location is 40°1'35"N 85°2'4"W

Carlos, Maryland, United States is in Allegany County; location is 39°37'23"N 78°57'26"W

Carlos, Minnesota, United States; population was 361 in 1990; housing units was 156 in 1990; location is
45°58'N 95°18'W; land area is 0.44 square miles (281 acres); FIPS code is 9964

Carlos, Minnesota, United States is in Douglas County; location is 45°58'21"N 95°17'31"W

Carlos, Minnesota, United States Postal Service Zip Code is 56319

Carlos, Mississippi, United States [Place] is in Lincoln County; location is 31°37'5"N 90°22'45"W; elevation is 490 feet

Carlos, North Carolina, United States is in Cumberland County; location is 35°12'34"N 78°46'19"W

Carlos, West Virginia, United States is in McDowell County; location is 37°23'45"N 81°48'6"W

8 comments:

Sheila said...

Why do boys always want to make things that go "boom"?

Such a funny story! Its amazing that any of us ever survived our childhood - speaking for myself of course. I didn't dabble in explosives but I did always have these "brilliant" ideas that somehow always left me with permanent scars lol.

Had lots of fun with the PlacesNamed website. I only got one hit on my name - it was the 124th most popular female first name in the US.

Thanks for sharing your pics.

Webmiztris said...

hey, there's a town in Texas called Dawn! who knew?

I can't imagine purposely buying something that smells like ass. I get to smell my husband's farts all day for FREE. lol

The_Gator said...

I like the new set up carlos....and not all of texas smells like ass....just the parts that look like ass too.

jules said...

Damn it Karlos. I clicked on the Man College link hoping to find naked men recruiting for their school. You owe me. Send me a naked picture of yourself immediately. You have the address!

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Oh, my god, I HATE rotten drivers too. Why do you need to come to a complete stop to make a right turn? Why do you cut me off when there's no one behind me for miles? Why do you block the intersection?? Why oh why oh why?

Karlos said...

Sheila: That’s a good question; one that I’m not sure anyone will ever be able to answer! Yes, it is amazing that we survived childhood. I think of some of the shit I did and shake my head in amazement that I’m not 6ft under.

WebMiz: No shit? Dawn, TX. Well, if I ever get through there, I’ll send you a post card and tell you if it smells like ass! You’re so bad.

Gator: Thanks man. I converted my blog and did a little photoshopping of the picture. The only places I’ve been in Texas that smell like ass are Houston, areas of Corpus Christi, Beaumont, Port Arthur, Seadrift, Brownsville, and a couple of other refinery/industrial towns.

Jules: Sorry for the misunderstanding. From this point forward, I vow include the parenthetical statement ”No nude men Jules” in every post that mentions men. Naked picture? Hmmm…Let me see what I can dig up ;-)

AMG: I feel your pain, and I’m glad you feel mine! Thanks for dropping by. I’ve been lurking around your page for near a couple of years now, posting the occasional comment. Always enjoy your posts, even if you’ve been slackin’ a little.

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Like the new look!
I'm with Sheila, I never had much interest in blowing things up, but did other stupid things to make up for it.
If you're bitching about people slowing down on the off ramps, you'd hate Boise. In Boise they stop, that's right, stop. Idiots.

The_Gator said...

honestly...the only bad parts ive been too were Houston/ beaumont area...and el paso....driving by the dairy on the 10....and maybe as we passed by an oil derrick or two...other than...it was fine....however...the water in mortiarty NM sucks...