Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Toozday

Woof!
Nestled among luscious evergreen pine trees and babbling brooks, Camp Bow Wow is a soothing oasis for any pooch troubled by his master's business trip or vacation in Cozumel or the Virgin Islands.

You see, we at Camp Bow Wow pride ourselves on providing four-legged Fidos with all the comforts of home:

-- Enough fire hydrants for the entire pack! That’s right; No shortage of poochie pissin' places here!

-- Rubber legs, cast from a mold of your own leg, and handcrafted with a PVC skeleton and lifelike silicone flesh will afford your doggy hours of humpin’ good-time-magic! Guests who choose to do so may opt to purchase the leg for home use!

-- And for the male dogs of the bunch who’ve had the bad fortune to have their tiny doggie testes snipped off, each camp counselor carries an emergency pack chock full of our patented Bow Wow Balls that the counselor can strap on in a flash and slather with peanut butter or bacon fat (your dog’s preference) to sooth Rover’s nut lapping urges.

-- But don’t think that’s all folks! Our facilities are open 24hrs a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. We offer a wide variety of amenities and activities, including (but not limited to) ultra-safe Nerf cars to chase, endless gallons of cool, cool toilet water to drink, cat shit s’mores around nightly campfires, and bitches as far as the eye can see! So what are you waiting for? Get yo' ass on the horn now and sign your dog the hell up!

That paragraph of unmitigated bullshit was slung especially for my favorite coworker Shelley. See, she’s going out of town on business in a couple of weeks and is looking for a kennel for her loyal pooch Cindy. She made the mistake of showing me a brochure for Camp Bow Wow which, for some reason, cracked me the fuck up; hence, the above spew!

Nay's Hero
Tell me this doesn't get you hot Nay!
video

Miscellany





7 comments:

renee255 said...

AnnE doesn't need any fake balls nor a leg to hump so that place doesn't sound right for her ;)

Would it even be suitable for Cindy? It kind of sounded like a sexist brochure bitches as far..., actually is this a camp for gay closeted dogs and they that statement was thrown in for good measure? I'm sure it will be updated soon to reflect the paw tapping stalls in the restrooms. ;)

Anyhow back to the video, I wonder if he is married? I'm so in loooove.

That last picture is cool.

Where are the wedding pictures?

Shelley said...

Dude! That's my baby you're making fun of. She may be a bitch in name only, but you don't know what kind of bitch I can be! :o) When I get back from visiting Camp Bow Wow to see if Cindy will like it, I'll let you know how great it is. Maybe even bring back pictures for you to post. Cindy doesn't need any fake balls either. I think those are saved for the trucks here in Texas.

The_Gator said...

haha that is totally nays man!

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

I don't know about you, but they had me at "cool toilet water to drink." Make mine a double!

Woozie said...

The caption to the first picture was originally "let me show you my pokemans"

Just thought I'd share that with the chilluns.

Carlos said...

Nay: It might not be suitable for a bitch, but it’s a man’s world after all. I mean, look at all those beer and truck commercials on TV. ;-) Wedding pictures…yeah….I need to get ‘em on my computer.

Shelley: I look forward to a full report on Camp Bow Wow!

Gator: Yes it is!

Nigel: Rocks?

Wooz: Word! That’s the only version I’ve seen. Either way, it’s a funny picture.

Bunny ~N~ Early said...

Banshee wants some of those balls you wrote about, Early won't let him lick his.