Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thank Diggity

Holy fucking bejeeziss I’m glad the holidays are over and dead. I am so ready to get back to a somewhat normal schedule. As much as I don’t rightly care for this time of year any more (just too busy for my liking), I hope my loyal readers and friends, even Redskins fans, had a great Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, Festivus, or whatever the hell you happen to celebrate this time of year.

Friday I’m going to Shelley’s house to kick her fucking ass in Connect Four. She slaughters me any time we play, yet I’m oddly drawn to the brutality of Speed Connect Four, and her verbal abuse, profanity and assaults on my manlyishness. I must defeat her...then seek psychological counseling.

Woozie has appointed me a Supreme Commander, along with a select other few, to serve in his movement against fascist bastards and their leader (and rogue Canuck) Lord Omar. I am truly honored:

Ayman (possibility)

My suggestion for a motto for The Movement was deemed worthy by His Blackness – Another honor: “Smash Their Fascist Asses.” (Note: Also a fun tongue twister).

That is all. I ain't feelin' too creative, and I’m going the hell to bed. I’m old and tired. Have a bitchin' weekend fuckers.


The_Gator said...

so are you saying you lack the mental capacity to connect four when playing a girl?

P.S. still waiting on the Shelly Blog to start up.

reneeg255 said...

Yeah Shelly where is the blog? We want to see some verbal bashing come down upon Carlos ;). Apparently he digs it ;)

That picture reminds me of Tim Burton's, "The Nightmare Before Christmas". I loved that movie.

You have a great weekend to YA FUCKER

reneeg255 said...

I know, the to above should be too

Flyinfox_SATX said...

For feeling un-creative, I thought that was a very worthy post. I am right with you on Connect Four. Maybe you will land in my Psychiatric ward when you come in...


Bunny ~N~ Early said...

K Carlos, Here's the deal... I'm not going to stand for you whining about being old - that makes us old too, and I'm far from old YA FUCKER!
SOOO. I'm going to walk my happy ass all the way up there if I have to, and with or without Neys help, I'm going to bitch slap the shit out of you. Then I'm going to tie you to a chair and let Shelly kick your ass in connect four, over and over while wearing nothing but leather chaps and a cowboy hat for at least a week.
I will send 10 of the best Yellow Rose strippers to lap dance for you blindfolded while listening to Kidd Rocks "Cowboy" at ear piercing levels. You can't touch, and you can't have anything to eat or drink except grilled shrimp and the best of the oldest whisky we can find and that's only when she see's fit after you beg her forgiveness for calling yourself old.


I will send Early wearing only a pair of red catch me fuck me pumps and a bow on his head (the upper one) to tie you up and wax your ass with candle wax. You don't get to pick your punishment dude. We girls do, so I wouldn't count on it being Shelly and the strippers. You're a young stud still, and you better start acting like one right now. No more old talk shit! Grab the Warden right now and do some moving and shaking before us girls start plotting... And we will plot... Be afraid, be very afraid.

Congrats on the appointment from Woozie! Does this mean you'll start writing some more political stuff? If so, we're looking forward to it. Between you and Woozie, that would be some awesome shit!

Nashe* said...

FYI, I didn't have trouble saying "Smash their Fascist Asses" until you mentioned it was a tongue twister. LOL.

reneeg255 said...

So how bad did Shelly kick your fucking ass last night? ;)

Woozie said...

I don't want to hear a god damn word about those fucking Seahawkkks, and I've said all there is to say about Todd Motherfucking KKKollins. We still beat you, and I still want my chicken.


Shelley said...

Dude! Can you say, "I suck at Connect Four"? You are invited, again, to another game as long as you are ready to die!

Gator & Nay: About a blog...that is where I suck! Sooner or later I will get the brains to figure it out and the consistency to keep it up.

The_Gator said...

Shelley..thats the beauty of it..i still havent figured it out. Shit i cant even add all my links to my page...i have to put them all in my favorites. So dont feel bad. Just BLOG.

Carlos said...

Gator: That’s exactly what I’m saying! ;-)

Nay: I never saw the movie. I’ll have to add it to my list!

Flyin’ Fox: Thanks for the kind words. Hope you’re well!

Bunny~n~Early: I laughed my ass off when I read this!!! You guys are a pair of sick fuckers! Shelley saw me the other day at work and was laughing about it! Teaming with Woozie on a political blog might be fun. I’ll hit him up about it.

Nashe: Yes, LOL! Sorry to fuck it up for you ;-)

Woozie: Hum a few bars of that fight song again, will ya?

Shelley: I can say it. I embrace my suckitude. You’re on. We’ll play again this weekend! And I’ll help you set up your blog.