Monday, February 11, 2008

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

For those of you who have not yet heard the news on Connect Four Saturday, which my dear friend Shelley so gleefully trumpeted in the previous post’s comments:

I remain Shelley’s Bitch.

Let it be known that it is clear I am not a worthy opponent, and am not deserved of being permitted to compete against such a dominant, worthy, and fierce player. I shall, however, continue to serve as Shelley’s bitch at her pleasure.

I know, I know. It’s hard to believe that any one person could lose so consistently at one game to one person. But, alas, I’ve come to realize my place in the big scheme of things – my purpose in life. Although I have cemented my place in Connect Four loserdom, I shall persevere, in the off chance I might one day become proficient and redeem my good so-so name.

As if being pummeled in Connect Four weren’t enough, I was also bludgeoned quite handily in cribbage, a game at which I fancy myself fairly sufficient.

There. I said it. I suck!

Next weekend my friend! Next weekend!

Our Future?
So there’s this kid in Minnesota who was cited for having the rear window of his car obstructed. It was obstructed by a “Ron Paul Revolution” decal or something thereabouts.

He’s going to contest the citation, arguing that the law violates First Amendment rights. Ri-i-g-g-h-h-t.

Here are a couple of really, really brilliant quotes:

"I support Ron Paul, the city police department doesn't," he said. "They gave me a DWR — driving while Republican."
I see. The ol’ “Oppressed Republican” defense. Poor Republicans. They’re so put down by The Man. So misunderstood.

"To be honest, I'm probably not going to win, but I'm going to go down fighting,"
Sign him up for politics! Never mind that you broke the law, go down fighting to prove that you’re right and the law is wrong. Kinda like man-trolling Larry Craig. Kinda like the folks who believe they can’t change their minds on Iraq.


Shelley said...

Ah, yes. Go down fighting. Just like McCain - "I'll stay in Iraq for 100 years if that's what it takes." Dude, I'll go down - but not in that manner... :o)

You're on for this weekend.

See you at coffee this morning.

reneeg255 said...

Howdy friend!!!

My loyalty as a friend will always be with you, but in the world Loserdome of Connect Four I can not be faithful to such a "loserdom". Sorry dude!!! But please know I love you in all your loserdom, just can't put my money on you. Maybe you can play Old Maid, Go Fish, Candyland...

Have a fucking fabulous week buddy!

Woozie said...

Texas is known nationwide for its brutal oppression of republicans. Everyone knows its a festering cesspool of liberalism.

Shelley said...

Right now I am watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show - a lot of bitches and some beautiful dogs too. One thing I did notice - not one of them is the same breed as the picture on your blog page. Is that a unique breed?

Carlos said...

Shelley: You are a bad, liberal girl with that dirty, liberal, potty mouth of yours ;-) Coffee was great this morning, as always. This weekend indeed. Enjoyed work today. You keep me on an even keel. Thank you for all your wonderfulness. You are truly one of the very few good people on this planet. I’m glad I’m your friend.

Nay: Ah, my old Friend Nay. How far do we go back? 28 years I think it is now. I do understand you can’t put your money on me, and I don’t blame you in the least. I suck, and Shelley rules me with a merciless passion only a woman is capable of possessing. As I get slaughtered in future games, I shall recall fondly your years of loyal friendship – at the same time understanding why you must desert me in these hard times I’m facing. ;-) You have a fabulous week too! When the fuck are you leaving?

Woozie: Republican oppression in Texas consists of taking ill-gotten congressional districts from them.

Shelley: You again?! Yeah…the doggy on my bloggy is a rare breed indeed. I’ll tell you about it over coffee tomorrow! You fucking crack me up!

Flyinfox_SATX said...

I hate to say I told you so...but I told you so. I just picked up a brand new game of Connect 4 that I will be practicing with Kurly (My Affianced) so that I would at least look respectable and lose with dignity.


Bunny ~N~ Early said...

I stopped by to read about how you finally beat Shelly at Connect Four.
DUDE! Thats all I'm gonna say.

I read the DWR thing also. All he had to do was open his moth and we kne he was a Repub. What a dumb ass.

Carlos said...

FlyinFox: Yeah….it was brutal. Practice well!

Bunny~n~Early: I know. I know. It’s pretty disappointing ain’t it!? ;-) The DWR dude really is a dumbass!