Sunday, July 20, 2008


I was watching a local news broadcast tonight. The usual, pointless, cutesy banter mildly nauseated me as I dined on my salad and watched a tanning-bed bimbo read her teleprompter and try to look semi-intelligent. The news was anything but news. It was sensationalism: murder, rape, death, fire, pestilence. You know – the stuff we all give a fuck about.

Anyway….the sports dude came on and, during a recap of the Houston Astros/Chicaco Cubs game, he referred to the Astros as “the space men.” Space men? Jesus H. Christ. How fucking gay is that? Why in the hell to sportsfucks need to find cute nicknames for teams? These are amongst the gayest I can think of:

San Diego Chargers | The Lightning Bolts
California (or whatever the fuck they are now) Angels | The Halos.

For the Syllabically Lazy (Like uttering that syllable is gonna kill you):
Tampa Bay Devil Rays | D-Rays
Arizona Diamondbacks | D-Backs

My question to sportscasters:
If you call the Devil Rays the D-Rays, and the Diamondbacks the D-Backs, why don’t you call the Blue Jays the B-Jays?

1 comment:

The_Gator said...

i like your thinking young man.